i heart japan

choosing to leave japan (temporarily)

2011-03-26T21:24:00.000-07:00

a friend was writing an article for a magazine and asked me to explain my decision to leave japan temporarily after the earthquake, tsunami, and nuclear reactor troubles. she didn't end up using my quotes, so this is my story about how the earthquake on march 11, 2011 affected me.

***

After living in Japan for a while, you like to think that you develop a sort of resistance to earthquakes. Small ones are pretty frequent, and in fact we'd just had one a few days before march 11 that had been strong enough to make a few people at work stop and take note (though most Japanese coworkers continued as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened). However, the magnitude of the March 11 Friday's earthquake was so far beyond anything I'd ever experienced. When it hit I was walking outside on my lunch break and I saw groups of people gathering to watch the swaying telephone poles and buildings. When I got back to the office, it slowly became apparent that this was more serious than usual since my coworkers had broken into makeshift units and began calling all of our branches to make sure everyone was okay. Still, the first thing one of my Japanese team members said to me was, "I'm sorry to tell you that your water spilled and I couldn't clean everything up." It seemed so trivial in light of everything that was going on (though I didn't yet know the full gravity of the situation).

About 30 minutes later, we felt the first aftershock, which from inside the building felt as strong as the initial quake. Everyone promptly evacuated the building and we were then told that we were free to go home if we wanted. At that point, I started to feel genuinely scared. I didn't know if it was safe to be at home, I definitely couldn't just go back to work, and I just felt a bit lost and unsupported. Luckily one of my coworkers was also feeling scared so we decided to spend some time together in Yoyogi Park to try to relax. We still had no idea about the tsunami. All we knew at that stage was that the epicenter was somewhere around Sendai.

After an hour or so, driven by the cold, we decided to head towards Harajuku to see if any trains were running. We caught up with a group of coworkers who told us about the tsunami in Tohoku. This was the first we had heard of it. A group of them opted to try to get a taxi while I decided to walk home.

All through Friday night we kept experiencing aftershocks. I had heard of aftershocks before, but I always thought there would be one or two of them -- not hundreds. A lot of people kept saying how seasick they were and I kept feeling like "I want to get off this ride!" This was probably the first moment where I had fleeting thoughts of "I want to leave."

I had a lot of concerned messages coming from friends around the world at this point, but most of them didn't realize how far Tokyo is from Sendai, so it was easy to reassure them that I was okay and there was no need to panic.

It wasn't until Saturday that the nuclear reactor situation began to come to light. At first, they began to report that there was some trouble at one of the plants and they started showing footage of the first explosion, though at that time they didn't yet know what was exploding or how dangerous it was. My boyfriend was expressing his frustration that the politicians didn't seem to be giving the full truth or any substantive information, which was a point when I began to worry. A lot of people I know said that they could tell that the government and Tepco officials were lying, even if they couldn't understand exactly what they were saying.

I spoke to my father on Sunday morning and at that stage he told me that he would support me no matter what I decided to do, but if I wanted to come home that would be more than fine. Initially, I wasn't really thinking of going. My job is in Tokyo, my boyfriend is there, my friends -- basically my life is there. However, when I heard that a German friend who works for the German Embassy was leaving, I really started to reconsider the situation. Another friend told me that all the Germany employees from her company were leaving as well. I started to wonder if there was something that the German government knew that was not yet being released to the general public, or if they just exercise more precaution than others with regards to their citizens. One friend was already planning to move to London, but she told me that if she hadn't been, she'd probably want to leave at this point.

These were the thoughts that were running through my mind -- the aftershocks were terrifying, especially since there was apparently a 70% chance of an aftershock of 7 in the next few days. I didn't know how the nuclear situation was going to unfold, but the worst thing I could imagine was that if I stayed and things got worse, what if I got stuck and was unable to leave? Plus, there was the threat of blackouts and food shortages. At that point, many people were posting photos of empty shelves in convenience stores and supermarkets which also really scared me.

On the other hand, I worried that leaving would make me a coward or a traitor to my adopted home country. I love Japan so much and maybe it shows weakness to leave in a time like this and maybe I should tough it out to support all the friends and coworkers who have supported me in my time there. However, in the end, I felt that because I was panicked and scared, it made sense to leave while I still had the opportunity. I kept thinking that "you just don't mess around with nuclear radiation" and this is not a point to worry about putting on a brave front.

I wouldn't say that I felt any particular pressure from my parents or friends in the US, although since I've returned I've been surprised at the outpouring of relief. My grandmother's friends have been calling my parents' house every day, my aunts and uncles have been crying with relief, and I've received a lot of messages from friends who are letting me know they think I made the right decision.

I certainly feel a sense of relief now that I'm back, though of course I feel awful about my boyfriend, friends, and coworkers who are all still there, not to mention the millions of people who are living in shelters who had their homes destroyed and lost their loved ones to the tsunami. Nobody knows how this situation is going to unfold, so it's really hard to say if there's a "right" decision, but I know I did the best thing I could do for myself at the time.

after the earthquake: what can we do?

2011-03-15T02:09:00.000-07:00

i'm just going to keep this post brief because i don't think i'm ready to write about the whole experience of the march 11 earthquake and its aftereffects just yet, but i did want to gather up some different resources that i've found in various places to share how people can help japan overcome this tragic situation.

whether you're in japan or not, time out japan offers a list of actions you can take and places you can donate to. find their article here

http://www.timeout.jp/en/tokyo/feature/2532/japan-earthquake-how-you-can-help

if you have a special fondness for our four-legged friends, we are feral cats will help take care of animals from shelters and reunite people with their lost pets. http://wearechikineko.blogspot.com/

thanks, jen b for the link and info.

if you have an extra bed of futon that you'd like to offer to earthquake/tsunami survivors, head to www.couchsurfing.org and check out their disaster relief page: http://www.couchsurfing.org/group.html?gid=39703

if you're looking for some retail therapy that will also go to a good cause, jean snow has a list of products you can buy where all or part of the proceeds will go towards relief: http://jeansnow.net/2011/03/15/japan-earthquake-disaster-relief/

and finally, several sources recommend donating to the japanese red cross. here's their url: http://www.jrc.or.jp/english/relief/l4/Vcms4_00002070.html

let's keep japan in our hearts and thoughts. thank you!

why did you come to japan?

2011-03-07T03:12:00.000-08:00

once upon a time, i started chronicling my adventures of when i first moved here in my youth. i have come back to the text a few times over the past few years, but still haven't done much with it, so i figured it was time to start publishing it here. this part is the first installment, and my attempt to answer that perennial question -- "why did you come to japan?"

***

As a foreigner living in Japan, you have to steel yourself for the oft-asked and eventually inevitable question: "Why did you come to Japan?" Some people take this question as an affront -- the real and underlying message being a hatred of foreigners and xenophobia. Others see it as an excuse to milk natives for all they're worth. "Well, actually -- I'm really interested in karate. Can you recommend a good dojo?" And then there are those of us who fit into the last category. Not easily shoved into the automatically-offended mode or the "let's take this chance for YOU to tell me more about YOURSELF" category. We defy convention. We hate those contrived one-sentence answers that we're forced to repeat ad nauseam, but at the same time have yet to find either a way to skillfully evade the question or come up with a better response. Some of us are dreamers -- we're caught up in our own reverie of "the East." Our imaginations have brought us here with promises of glamour, sophistication, and exoticism. We're misfits, unhappy with our place in our own society, preferring to eke out our existence in a land where our difference transforms us from outcasts into celebrities, where we're already taken for granted as aliens. We're independent spirits, striving to assert ourselves against an entire country, people, civilization. Part colonizer, part cowboy, we bring our spirit of "emancipation through knowledge" and the somewhat grotesque although rarely discussed cultural colonization. Of COURSE everyone should learn to speak English!! But should we deign to learn Japanese? Oh, probably not. Or maybe we're just intrepid travelers and this is simply another stop on the continual itinerary, our globe-trotting impulses carrying us whimsically here, but it could have been anywhere else, really. In the end, when asked this irksome question, I tend to simply smile and respond, "Oh, I was interested in Japanese language and culture." And right afterwards I kick myself at the lameness of my response. "Is that REALLY the best you could come up with???"

plum blossoms in yugawara

2011-03-02T03:28:00.000-08:00

one of my favorite things about life in japan is how every season has its own foods and activities associated with it. although late winter/early spring can be a real doozy with the flip-flopping temperatures and weather that just can't make up its mind, it's one of the best times of year for flowers. two of my absolute favorite flowers -- 梅 (ume, plum) and 沈丁花 (jinchoge, winter daphne or sweet daphne) bloom at this time and both are just the headiest scents. yes, i am that crazy lady you see walking around and sticking her nose into flowers because they just smell that good.

i am lucky enough that the sc (my man) is willing to indulge me in this craziness, so a few weeks ago we went to yugawara on the izu peninsula to their plum orchard. here are a few of my photos from the day.

plum blossoms with waterfall in the background. the white ones have the lightest scent, almost like honey. heavenly.

light pink plum blossoms.

dark pink plum blossoms. these ones have the strongest scent, just like the ume gum if you've ever tried that.

thank you for indulging my flower nerdilness.

smoothies in tokyo! forbidden fruit café

2011-02-21T04:40:00.001-08:00

garden of eden-esque chandelier (sideways)

crazy-ass floral arrangement

okay, so one of the things that i really, really miss from the us is the abundance of jamba juice and other smoothie-slingin' establishments. i just love having the option of starting off the day (or having a mid-afternoon pick-me-up) with an icy, fruity concoction. unfortunately, smoothies have yet to really make it in tokyo. i'm not sure why that is. it's true that you can find some psuedo-smoothie places in the stations and stuff, but since they have all the ingredients already put in the blender, not only do they freak me out because of the lack of freshness, but you can't have them custom-made.

however, in omotesando hills, right next to the mac store, is a little gem called "forbidden fruit" café. this place offers up some amazing blends. fruit smoothies, fruit and veggie concoctions, and some super-tempting warm beverages (hot chocolate with chili on a cold winter's day? yes, please!)

one of my favorite memories from forbidden fruit café is when i took an american friend there and he started freaking out (not unlike the guy who freaks out on charlotte when she brings him back home in satc). "whoa. this place is so nice." "whoa. this is so different from jamba juice." "whoa. why are all the drinks so expensive?" yes, it's true, at 600 yen for the smallest size these drinks are not cheap, but i have yet to find a smoothie in tokyo that even comes close to these (except, of course, the ones i make at home).

i just realized that this post is probably a bit oddly timed since it's not even fully spring yet, but what can i say? it's that good.

oh, also – there is a creepy/fascinating store downstairs that can only be accessed through the smoothie shop. definitely go and check it out.

forbidden fruit

west building 1f omotesando hills 4-12-10

jingumae, shibuya-ku

tel: 03-5785-6909

www.maniac-co.jp

you must apologize!!

2011-02-16T06:05:00.001-08:00

is it just me, or does this sign sound like it's ordering me to apologize for the inconvenience of the construction? i'm also not sure what exactly pomeranians have to do with anything, but i guess they're a cute relief from the drudgery of the construction site.

new veggie-friendly restaurant: daylesford food hall

2011-02-13T02:09:00.000-08:00

one of my favorite areas in tokyo is the omotesando/aoyama/shibuya triangle (is it actually a triangle? i don't know -- but it is comprised of three parts). anyhow, one of the reasons i love this area is for the aspirational value. i can't really afford most of the shops here, but i still like to wander around and pretend i can. then there's the fact that it's where most of the hair salons/aestheticians/make-up stores i frequent are based, but more importantly than either of those points is the fact that this area is home to such a high concentration of vegetarian or veggie-friendly places. there's pure café, brown rice café, mominoki house, hanada rosso, gaya, and a relative newcomer to the scene, daylesford food hall.

this cute little place contains a little market (mostly selling items like jams, tea, and chocolates), a deli (which has sandwiches, salads, and other items but didn't appear to be particularly veggie-friendly), and a restaurant upstairs. while it's a bit pricey at 1,800 yen for the lunch plate, everything we had was superb and it definitely left me satisfied for hours. here's the vegetable lunch plate:

starting at 6:00, there are some pickled veggies (including purple carrot -- a definite first for me!), fresh veggies, onion and cheese soup with homemade bread, cilantro salad, sweet potatoes, and cabbage and chickpea salad with mustard dressing. in the center of the plate is a hummus-like dip which went perfectly with both the fresh veggies and the bread. do you also like the hand reaching into the photo? yeah, that's what we like to call "artistic photography." okay, not really. it's what we like to call "someone didn't realize i was taking a picture of my food, but i just ran with it." anyway, one other thing i'd like to add is that daylesford conveniently marks all the vegetarian items on their menu, which definitely earns brownie points from me. so if you're feeling rich and looking for something new around omotesando/aoyama, check it out!

weddings in japan – a resource guide, part 3 more couples, more stories!

2011-02-08T03:33:00.000-08:00

and here it is, the final installment of my rough guide to getting married in japan. read on and you'll laugh, you'll cry, and hopefully you'll come away inspired!

***

Couple: Tracey and Ashley (Both Australian)

1) Please give me a brief description of your Japan-based wedding.

May 2009
Tableaux restaurant
90 people sit down dinner
additional 30 people for after party

2pm we had a "ceremony" in the courtyard with a friend who was the
master of ceremonies/priest (but he was just wearing a suit). We
"walked down the aisle" (the stairs) together as I didn't want to be
"given away". My husband and I had lived together for a number of years and so this was something that we did as a couple. But the ceremony
followed the typical format of a western ceremony. I wore a white dress
but no veil. The highlight was my purple "Jimmy Choo" shoes which
directed the colors. I had a friend sing a solo at the end of the
service. The rest of the music was iPod.

After the ceremony we had a sit-down dinner. We wanted lots of yummy
food and wine and we brought in our own wine. Ash works in
restaurants and we are all about good food and great wine with friends
so this was the "theme".

We then had a second group of people arrive for an after party. We
had a swing band for dancing and of course Deanne did a hoop
performance.

2) As someone who had a wedding both in Japan and back home, how would you compare the two experiences?

Had so much fun at the Japan wedding as it was longer and more people, but also we had a few novelties such as the swing band and the
hooping.

We did try to make the Australian wedding as fun as the Japan wedding
and gave the same level of attention to the food, wine, etc. It was
easier to arrange the Japanese wedding as we are based here. The
Australian wedding was organized remotely in a city where I have never
lived so it was a bit hard.

3) Please give me a brief outline of your planning process.

No wedding planner. Ashley works in restaurants and so has lots of
experience in running weddings so he was super organized with the day
- briefing staff, run sheets, the menu, seating charts etc. He really
handled the logistics after we had decided on what sort of atmosphere
we wanted.

The first thing we decided on was the shoes.

4) Were there any legal issues or surprises with bureaucracy?

None – the embassies are really organized with weddings for
non-Japanese. You really need to have a Japanese speaker to help with
the paperwork for the ward office. But there is nothing hard.

We did the ward office thing a few days before.

6) Do you have any particularly amusing anecdotes or horror stories you'd like to share?

Taking the whole entourage to the ward office, in suits, etc. to do the
paperwork/legalities. Our fathers (who don't live in Japan) were the
witnesses for the signatures. The ward office was a fun experience as
we got a number and waited for our number to be called, e.g. "Number 33 your marriage is ready"

Horror stories. Not possible to rent a garden. Inokashira park is a
good option but it was too far out of town for us.

7) Overall, would you recommend having a wedding in Japan? What would you say to couples who were considering it?

Do it – and do it yourself. Don't get a package wedding. Rent a
boat, rent a house, rent a restaurant, but don't get the "package".
Don't use the word "wedding" as lots of doors will be closed off to
you. Say you are organizing a "party". Yoyogi Park is free.
Inokashira park is silly cheap.

8) Please let me know if you used any vendors or resources that were
particularly helpful.

Do it yourself – don't get the "cookie cutter" wedding that
restaurants or venues try to force onto you. Otherwise you will have
a rubber chicken, bad wine dinner that will start and end on a strict
timetable. Not very fun. We had a great experience as we had the
entire place to ourselves for as long as we wanted and so everybody
could linger. Actually many of our guests stayed longer than we did.
They just kept on drinking (on their own tabs by this point).

Deanne and Masao

1) Please give me a brief description of your wedding.

We had a weekend of celebrations for our family and friends in Tokyo. On Friday September 10, 2010 night a small group headed to Roppongi for dinner and a show. On Saturday September 11, 2010 we had a Kira Kira Circus picnic in the park, guests were encouraged to wear their most sparkling and fabulous attire. Face painting, hula hoops, fire breathing, a kissing booth, popcorn machine, a shisha tent and fabulous guests kept everyone entertained. On Sunday September 12, 2010 we had a private and smaller ceremony at FAB Dance Academy in Tokyo. A non traditional event, we were married by our very dear friend who is a clown, our ring exchange was a partner hooping show and guests were entertained by fabulous burlesque and Latin shows.

2) Please give me a brief outline of your planning process.

Our life is very collaborative, we have a wonderful circle of very creative and supportive friends and family. Our planning time was short, Masao and I decided we wanted a celebration to entertain our guests, we thought about the elements that were essential, neglected to pop into any tradition or pressure and got to work on the process. We made vision boards of what we liked, folders filled with images, we shared them with a few of our friends. Along with two very creative costume and event planning friends I spent many, many hours shaping things together but it was all very interesting and creative work. We had a lot of help from our friends, very grateful for that!

4) Was there anything surprising or unexpected about the whole process you wish you had known beforehand?

I think I had grown up believing the myth that weddings were stressful. Our colorful celebrations felt like a big party or a performance, in the most positive sense. I guess being in the entertainment industry you learn to expect the unexpected, but it was all very energizing and exciting.

5) Were there any legal issues or surprises with bureaucracy?

The whole process seemed fairly straightforward. I contacted the Australian Embassy, they gave written proof that I was not already married, we took that document and Masao's family register to the ward office, two fabulous friends were our witnesses, then we were married. Simple.

6) Do you have any particularly amusing anecdotes or horror stories you'd like to share?

Masao and I decided that instead of a traditional ring exchange we would do a partner hoop performance as a symbol of binding our energies. We had a brief chance to practice with the oversized, heavy hoop just before guests started arriving to our Sunday ceremony. For reasons I am still unsure of Masao turned into a stunt man and decided to duck under the spinning hoop and completely misjudged the time and crashed his face straight into the speeding hoop. It could have been much worse, but as I looked over at him as we said our vows I giggled on the inside looking at the growing lump on his head.

7) Overall, would you recommend having a wedding in Japan to international couples? What would you say to couples who were considering it?

If you are in love and marriage is something you both want, the limited paperwork and process should not stop you. It all seemed like a very straightforward and easy process.

T and B (Japanese and British)

1) Please give me a brief description of your wedding (date, location, number of guests, theme, etc.)

It was 15th of August 1999, in Japan it's the anniversary for the end of war. (for us it became an anniversary for the beginning of the war!) We hired the restaurant in Harajuku for lunchtime, 3,500 yen for all you can eat and drink with great DJs spinning. Nothing traditional, no speech, no wedding cake, I remember I received a wedding ring from the groom on the street just outside the venue. It was about 120 people gathered I think 70 percent of the guests were the groom's friends or mutual friends, the rest was my family and friends and it turned out 10 odd people got in just because they saw the sigh "3500 yen all you can drink and eat"!!! We went through the pictures asking each other “Who is this? I thought they were your friend???"

It was complete chaos but everyone seemed to have a great time, I still have people talk about our wedding from time to time. One memorable word was from the owner of the restaurant who told us after the wedding day, it was the best wedding party she ever had after many years of experience.

2) Please give me a brief outline of your planning process.

My husband was a party organizer so he kept telling me "leave it to me, everything's taken care of" but I knew what he was like so I kept asking him questions and I got the same answer, so I left it up to him and I thought everything was taken care of, but it turned out not many things were taken care of!! I was a cranky pregnant bride-to-be so I was stressed all the time. One thing I can think of is getting a wedding dress made by my school friend and every time we did a fitting I was getting bigger so she had to make it bigger. My husband was giving away wedding invitations as if they were party fliers, so we had no idea how many people were coming… God, it sounds like a disaster but in the end it all worked out!

5) Do you have any particularly amusing anecdotes or horror stories you'd like to share?

My friend who was a door boy, he was taking care of guests and gifts throughout the party, so he only caught the last 30 minutes of all you can drink... He drank so much so quickly that he got very drunk and he spent his night in the police station for the first time for stealing a bike…

And there was a man who turned up to the wedding with his wife and a child (who I didn't know very well), my best friend came to me freaking out "Why is he here? I went out with him 15 years ago and haven't seen him since, that bastard!" and his wife came up to me shaking and asking me how do I know her husband and this that the other. Well, it turned out my other friend who was there was her husband's mistress at that time and she knew about it. So I am sure this guy must have been freaking out, too having his ex-girlfriend, his wife and mistress all in one place!!!

Heather and Katsunori (American and Japanese)

1) Please give me a brief description of your wedding.

May 3, 2008, Utsunomiya, Tochigi Japan, 50 guests

2) Please give me a brief outline of your planning process.

We did hire a wedding planner, this was a challenge for me because she did not speak English and I did not speak any Japanese at the time, so most of my wishes had to go through my husband, which may have not come out with the same feeling I had through him (he is a man, you know) :-) The most important thing was location. I wanted to be surrounded by a lot of nature, so our shrine where we got married was in the city but surrounded by many trees. Our wedding party was at an Art Museum surrounded by a forest, which was a reflection of my personality and my husband’s. The second most important thing was what kind of food we would have since our guests were not all Japanese, we made sure to have a lot of Western style dishes, a buffet style and a lot of food, it would be horrible if we ran out of food! ;-).

3) Was there anything surprising or unexpected about the whole process you wish you had known beforehand?

1. How my mother in law wanted to take over and have it her way (this probably happens in all countries, though).

2.The woman that was putting on my kimono and makeup, put way too much makeup and tried to put loads of makeup on my tattoo on the back of my neck, which simply made it stand out more instead of hiding it, I didn't know she would attempt such a thing…

3.My husband and I barely had a moment to put food in our mouths during the wedding party, it seemed we had to get up and entertain everyone quite often, this is something we said we didn't want but my mother in law added in last minute, yes, without us knowing *sigh* We also had to get up and bow a lot... exhausting!

4. In Japan people don't buy their wedding dresses usually. They will rent them, and change a few times. So, I had a kimono for the first part of the wedding and a big fluffy dress for the second half… The problem was, I had just had a baby 5 months before our wedding, so I was a bit more plump than usual... Well in Japan women are so tiny and there were not many kimonos or dresses for me to choose from, I think I had a choice between 3 different horrible looking dresses… I chose the one that did not look like a tablecloth.

4) Do you have any particularly amusing anecdotes or horror stories you'd like to share?

Yes, after our wedding ceremony we had to take a photo. Well if you don't know, kimono are extremely tight around the body. In the photo I had to sit on this tiny stool that fit about half my butt... the photographer wanted me to have my feet flat on the ground and very straight... so I was trying to balance half my butt on this tiny stool with straight feet... smile… hands in the right position... Basically they wanted me to look perfect... Total fail! I fell off the tiny stool...*sigh*

5) Overall, would you recommend having a wedding in Japan? What would you say to couples who were considering it?

Well, I personally do not recommend it unless you have a friend that can help you or be your wedding planner, because when you hire a wedding planner in Japan, they only know the Japanese style kind of wedding, not a Western style. This can cause a lot of frustration if you’re not from this culture. I wish for another wedding all the time, in fact. At the time I got married in Japan I didn't know a lot of people and I didn't understand the culture well enough to be having a wedding. It really matters where you are at in your life in Japan, if you don't understand the culture I would suggest marrying in your own country or waiting.

K (has helped several friends with their Japan-based weddings)

1) Tell me a little bit about planning a DIY wedding vs. a more traditional one in Japan. What are your experiences with both? What are the advantages and disadvantages of each?

DIY weddings are ideal for the offbeat couple who want to celebrate their marriage in a fun and flexible way, but they take a lot more involvement of the couple, their friends and family. The devil is in the details, so it is important to have a good vision of the event overall, and to know where you are willing to let go of control, drop an idea, or be flexible.

Regular Japanese wedding parties are package deals - you pick one you like at a convenient or prestigious location, hand over the money and then you show up on the day. Of course it is a little more complicated than that, but if you have a package wedding, you won't see the best man setting up a popcorn machine or the groom checking the sound system.

2) Can you briefly outline the wedding planning process? What things should the couple decide first? What things can wait until later stages?

Budget should come first, followed by an agreement to stick with it! It is easy for a wedding to take on a life of its own as the happy couple (or maybe just the bride) see all the options and pretty things that can be added to make the day more special.

Once a budget is set, you have to decide how to spend it.

A wedding can really go any way at all. What is important for one couple - superb photographs or an all-vegetarian menu - might be a non-issue for another. I've been to wedding picnics where the bride wore a cute white dress and guests drank chu-hi while chatting with friends. I've been to weddings where the bride had several costume changes and was treated like a princess in a room full of crystal chandeliers. So for a couple to discuss and agree on the key point early in the planning is critical.

Whatever that most important point is, it should be the thing couples arrange as soon as their budget is decided. If they want an amazing custom cake, talk to bakeries before anything else. If they need the perfect band, start on that right away.

3) Are there any special considerations/ things people might not necessarily know about when having a wedding in Japan?

Mention "wedding" and almost any venue will try to sell you a traditional package. If you are looking for something less rigid, use the word "party" instead of wedding, or tell them that it is a nijikai. On the other hand, Inokashira Park was quite limiting in their rental rules until they learned that it was for a wedding, and then it was fine to have music and alcohol. Go figure.

Depending on your nationality, you must get some paperwork from your embassy to prove that you are fit to marry. As with any bureaucracy, leave a bit of extra time to allow for delays and forgotten forms.

If you don't speak or read Japanese, it's going to be more challenging to find the things you want for your DIY wedding. And some of them won't be available here because they aren't in fashion or are simply unknown. Be prepared to order items - from custom candies to wedding gowns - from overseas as necessary.

4) What resources/tools did you find most useful?

One of the invaluable resources I use for almost every project is Rakuten. I swear that pretty much anything you want to buy in Japan is available there.

Also helpful for figuring out the right Japanese search term is my tried and true Google trick: search for English-name-of-thing 東京 in kanji (and also maybe 円 if you want to be sure of getting a shop) and you get at least a few results where the Japan vendor or reviewer used both the English and Japanese name for the item. Works best with brand names but also with generic things, too, where a dictionary fails.

weddings in japan – a resource guide, part 2: couples share their stories

2011-02-06T04:06:00.000-08:00

welcome to the second part of my series on getting hitched in japan! in part 1, i shared some info on a few independent vendors and the services they offer. here in part 2, i'll share some couples' stories on how they planned their special days and advice they have to offer couples who are considering doing the same. i realized that these interviews can be quite long, so i'm thinking i'll split them up into a few other entries, so please stay tuned for parts 3 and beyond!!

Couple: A and K (British & Japanese)

1) Please give me a brief description of your wedding.

We had our wedding at a Hawaiian restaurant in October, 2010. We had a small ceremony and buffet during the day for about 50 guests. In the evening another 50 guests came and we had music and entertainment and a BBQ.

2) Please give me a brief outline of your planning process.

The planning was a little disorganized. We started with the location – we knew we wanted somewhere we could really do what we wanted. We didn't want the traditional ceremony and sit-down meal as it doesn't really suit us. We chose the restaurant as a friend of my husband is the owner and he said we could basically do whatever we wanted. We didn't have a wedding planner but some of my husband’s friends were extremely helpful in the organization. The main points we decided together and after that my husband did most of the hard work – my dad designed the invitations and friends provided lots of entertainment so it was a really special day.

3) Was there anything surprising or unexpected about the whole process you wish you had known beforehand?

The most surprising thing about organizing a wedding in Japan are all the cultural differences – in England we invite friends and a guest – but here we only invited friends. Then there was the issue of gifts, as we do not need gifts, we opted for the Japanese style of giving money. We also had an evening party and guests paid for all-you-can-eat and drink.

4) Were there any legal issues or surprises with bureaucracy?

I was surprised that I had to swear on a bible that I was not already married – and also my intention to marry had to be posted on the wall in the Embassy so people could object. This meant the timing of our paperwork was really different from our expectations.

5) Overall, would you recommend having a wedding in Japan to international couples? What would you say to couples who were considering it?

I guess it depends on what you have in mind. For me it was an ideal time to get all our close friends in Japan together in one place and basically have a party – which was all I really wanted. We did have a very small ceremony but it was totally informal and the "minister" was a friend.

Couple: B and T (American and Japanese)

1) Please provide a brief description of your wedding.

We had the ceremony in December, 2006 after actually being officially married on July 7th, 2006. The wedding was held at C33 (http://www.resortwedding.co.jp/c33/) where we had dated before and enjoyed. It is in Sagami bay in Hayama, and has a nice view. There were about 60 people and the ceremony was a type called 人前式 (literally in front of people ceremony), which means no religious trappings. I wore a montsuki hakama, and my wife had both a wedding dress and a kimono. She wore the wedding dress during the wedding and the kimono during the reception. She was beautiful and I was a nervous wreck. During the reception some friends and family gave speeches and played and/or sang songs for us.

2) How did the planning process work?

My wife did all of the planning except for the wedding music, I insisted on having some input there to add a little of my own character to things.

She says: "We didn't have a wedding planner though we consulted with a specialist staff at C33. I wanted to make the wedding party not too traditional and not too monocultural. We have friends from multiple cultures, and my husband's relatives were coming so I wanted it to be universally enjoyable and not too formal or staid. One thing that I really insisted on making sure we had was a bilingual MC to make sure everyone could understand what was going on. She wasn't perfect, but it was a major help for the non-Japanese guests."

3) Would you recommend getting married in Japan to other international couples?

If they are independently wealthy, go for it. Seriously though, there is a huge wedding industry here, and they are often real pros about things, but there are far fewer of the types of weddings that you might see in the U.S., where things are arranged independently and held in someone's yard or at a park or something.

Couple: Sarah and Kei (British and Japanese)

1) Please give me a brief description of your wedding.

April, 2006, Yoyogi Park, Harajuku and karaoke. I guess the theme was Harajuku wedding – it is my fave place in Tokyo. Theme was – hanami party – have fun. Reception party – relaxed, good food, fun, dancing, and free-flowing wine in a location in Harajuku.

2) Did you have a ceremony in the UK as well? If so, how would you compare the two experiences?

The Japanese wedding was 100% focused on friends and my international crowd. I had complete control, along with my husband, over the creative process and was amazed at the flexibility of everything. I could achieve a lot through careful negotiation (i.e., tell my hubby what I wanted, he made it happen through Japanese communication!) I made everything happen in exactly the way I wanted it to – which, in my case, meant leaving a lot of things to chance, making space for magic to happen, and did it ever!

In the UK, my Mum organized everything, so it was out of my hands a lot. We collaborated, and made a wonderful day with a lot of compromises. I had to be really clear to make it as easy as possible for her and her helpers, but actually there were similarities. I wanted an outdoor element, so we had and afternoon at my Mum and Dad's where the food and drink flowed and the Japanese contingent mingled through a carefully planned bingo game!

I did a bit of church in the UK, which was different and a nod to my Catholic upbringing. But underneath it all was the common thread of a sense of using our communities and involving people in the process. Ticking all the boxes, while getting value for money and being very creative about budget and getting what you want on a budget.

3) Please give me a brief outline of your planning process.

My husband and I collaborated. But to be honest, as with most weddings, it was my ideas that finally made it. I simply had a set of images and notions in my head that I wanted to bring to life. These took the shape of photographs that I wanted to have. For me photographs represent experiences. Here are the images I had:

Collaboration

Process – for me the process of everything coming together was as important as the event itself

Artists

I was an avid Blogger at that time and wanted to involve the talents of the Bloggers that I knew who were creative
Martine Cotton, now a well renowned world-class photographer, photographed the wedding - it was her first and she was fantastic. I told her exactly what I wanted and she stayed all day and captured the mood so well. She became one of my dearest friends as a result.
Pinnpilan Wangsai. She was part of the 'Stitch and Bitch' group and had made her own wedding dress the November before and been married on Halloween, carrying a real Jack- o-Lantern for her bouquet. I was so inspired I asked if she would consider making my wedding dress. She said yes. I cannot describe what a fantastically creative and collaborative experience working with her was, she was amazing. If I could spend the rest of my life doing exactly what I wanted, it would resemble the way we worked together.
My husband has vetoed any wearing of kimono and such, so I wanted an English Rose-style dress with Japanese accents. I brought in hundreds of cut-outs of wedding dresses to Stich n Bitch one night on a mood board I had created for my dress plans, to give Pinn a chance to get a feel for what I wanted. The next time we met she had mocked up about 5 designs – all incredible and exactly on the money, she had even painted my hair in a red color on the sketches – they were a work of art in themselves. She had incorporated the use of secondhand obi and kimono into the corset design. From there we met weekly and eventually she produced this amazing piece of art, with strips of obi for the bodice with a white skirt and an over dress of champage. I loved it – it was so beautiful.
Friends helped to organize – I asked friends to get involved, one friend is a gifted flower arranger, so I asked her to oversee the floral arrangements and she liaised with the flower shop – we had the most beautiful sakura arrangements and bouquet from a very gifted florist in Harajuku.
A friend agreed to be our pretend priest and host the ceremony with a little help from us.

Community

The talents of my friends and network
Being outdoors
Hanami
Walking through some woods like a fairytale (this was inspired by a picture I had seen of Tori Amos' wedding where she emerged from a wood with fire lanterns around her and a hooded wedding dress – it looked magical and not at all cheesy – ok, the monks were a bit cheesy)

Harajuku
On the bridge in Harajuku
From the bridge in Harajuku
Dancing
Smiles
relaxed finish time and great venue with helpful collaborative staff

Tokyo wedding was very important, with English-style themes.

4) Was there anything surprising or unexpected about the whole process you wish you had known beforehand?

I kind of wish that I had known that sometimes when people say 'yes' to things, they may not be as laid back as you think.

My friends were amazing and incredibly generous with their time and help. I think had I been more aware, I would have realized that some of them were outside their comfort zone and made different arrangements or been more supportive.

Everything else – I wouldn't change a thing. Nothing. I had images and I made them happen.

So I guess being more considerate of my friends would be the only difference.

Also – don't think you HAVE to follow a formula – question everything, make things happen, find a way, even if someone tells you you can't do something – see if you can. Because you can.

6) Do you have any particularly amusing anecdotes or horror stories you'd like to share?

Where to begin! The night before my best friend and I hit up Boudoir for a mani and pedi and facial. Then we headed over to Yoyogi to stake out our spot, armed with string, cardboard, tarps and a hammer. We were doing heavy-duty work with fresh manicures, it was hilarious, we were hammering bamboo stakes into the ground trying not to chip our nails!

You will see from the pictures that Yoyogi Park turned into a riot! It was amazing. I mean, I couldn't have scripted it.

As soon as I got to the park on the busiest hanami day of the year, in my full wedding dress with my bouquet etc, I realized that this was not going to be the intimate blossom-filled fairytale I had imagined. It was going to be a fairytale, but more of a Tim Burton fairytale, shall we say.

As soon as we got there to our little opening people started noticing that we were in full wedding gear and I was getting married under the cherry blossoms.

When they threw the confetti and rice and started clapping, we were stormed by every drunk person in Yoyogi Park, they took Kei and threw him in the air, like at the end of a baseball match, they were shouting KISSU KISSU over and over again, there was a man dressed as Darth Vader up a nearby tree, a shinto priest, A TV crew from Finland were making a documentary about hanami and they interviewed us and we got on Finnish TV (they sent us the DVD afterward).

A friend brought daikons to represent us and our babies and we had an impromptu daikon-planting ceremony in the park (yes, she even brought a trowel) And that was before the evening! It was magical.

We had our first dance to MC Hammer, “You can't touch dis” because we couldn't get our heads around a love song!

We went to karaoke afterward – about 20 of us and I ended up mopping up spilt beer in my wedding dress – such fun!

7) Overall, would you recommend having a wedding in Japan to international couples?

DEFINITELY! If you are a non-Japanese in Japan, then you have a whole world open to you that you wouldn't have if you were:

Japanese
In your own country

In fact this probably applies to any expat/1st generation people. You are not constricted by the expectations and assumptions of your own culture, so within reason you can push the envelope. In Japan, I was able to make my dreams come true. When I applied the same criteria to my wedding in the UK it didn't work because in the British paradigm, my British parents had a very strict set of expectations that they were unable and unwilling to compromise.
Case in point – I wanted hanami in Japan – I made it happen, in the park, full bloom, no charge! I got every picture I had visualized and more. I ticked EVERY box and exceeded all my expectations of what my hubby and I could make happen. It was so authentically 'us' that I think our marriage started on very strong foundation.

I wanted to be by the sea in the UK – we live 10 minutes’ walk from the sea and I wanted to have a short ceremony or toast or reading there or some kind of connection to the sea outdoors – this was just too much. Had I been there myself, perhaps I could have made it happen, but as it was, it was just too far out for the parents! The compromise was that we did it in our back garden and it was very nice, but I didn't get my pictures by the sea as I had wished for.
Other things are – you don't have to accept the 2-hour limit – I negotiated a 4-hour evening, which allowed for a relaxed unrushed pace, eating, speeches and a little disco at a very reasonable price. Be nice, be polite, be infectiously excited and enthusiastic – people hate to say no!

You probably also know people with spaces, catering businesses, talents, big houses, and so on – explore every avenue and every option!

So the point is – if you are here you can do it YOUR way entirely within reason. Unconstrained by cultural expectations, surrounded by creative and adventurous people (all your foreign friends fall into this category and probably most of your Japanese friends, too) and with an unrivalled service industry – you can find a way to make magic happen.

8) Please let me know if you used any vendors or resources that were particularly helpful.

My networks were the most useful. My communities and the recommendations of friends and Bloggers. Yamaya international food store does a great deal on Moet and do takkyubin for you – so that was very useful indeed.

weddings in japan – a resource guide, part 1: independent vendors

2011-02-06T03:24:00.000-08:00

i recently had this article published in j select magazine about getting married in japan. as i was doing the research for it, i discovered that the topic was so broad and there are so many different things that go into planning a wedding that there was basically no way i could fit it all in to such a short piece. it seemed like such a shame to do all that research just to have it sitting around on my hard drive, thus i present to you a very rough and unofficial guide to getting married in japan!! i hope it's of use to someone!! here in part 1, i include interviews with a few independent vendors. stay tuned for part 2, where i'll share several couples' experiences and words of wisdom for planning a perfect wedding day!

37 Frames Photography, www.37framesphotography.com

Full names as you would like them to appear in print: Tracey Taylor & Dee Green

Job titles: Photographers & Owners of 37 Frames Photography
Length of time in Japan: 13+years
Length of time operating 37 Frames: 5+ years

1) Tell me a bit about 37 Frames (how would you sum up your business in a sentence or two?)

Tracey Taylor & Dee Green of 37 Frames specialize in a unique blend of lifestyle documentary photography reportage and creative fine art. Shooting as a dovetailing team, with double the eye and double the style they create meaningful, natural images, outdoors in life, with light, moments, emotion and signature color as the inspiration. Boutique weddings are a true love.

2) What percentage of your clients are weddings?

Currently 30-40% but we are looking at extending this into 2011 with a more strategic move into the Japanese market. We are dedicated to providing a very personalized service and the finest standards in modern wedding coverage, from well before the big day to the back end following and final product. As a general rule we only take 1-2 weddings per month. In this way we guarantee a very special experience and a signature look for each client.

3) Are there any special considerations when photographing a wedding in Japan as compared to other countries? What about when photographing an international couple?

We have always gone our own way, made our own opportunities and in this have found our place and a unique niche. Our imagery has a defined style and look and very luckily in Japan this stands out and this identifies us in the current market. So when considering photographing a wedding in Japan we know we are already different from most photographers in the same field right now. Western couples are more open to our kind of modern storytelling photography; fine art, coupled with documentary images, telling a story which speaks to the heart. For Japanese couples it is a completely new style and brings a new energy to their day from that of a traditional Japanese wedding. But it is one which most are open to because we offer photography with true emotion. We know how to get the very best from our clients, relaxed and real to the highest standards of professionalism and satisfaction with a fashionable edge, modern flair and romantically infused feeling. We have found that most our of Japanese clients find us via kuchi-komi (word of mouth) which by far and large has been our most effective marketing tool and one we are very thankful and grateful for.

We came to photography through our love of travel and fine art landscape photography. People and Places is what we adore. So in this way we are very sensitive to cultural considerations and the right way to do things, rules to follow when shooting outdoors or within particular settings. We make sure to consult at length with our clients about every aspect of the wedding day prior to the event but do clearly explain that our energy and love of a good reaction is what identifies our work. Basically we love to have fun and enjoy life and want this to translate just as effectively into the actual day. I think we have become so successful because this is our style and approach, and it is totally transferable across cultures and countries. We do target a particular kind of clientele and in the same way they find us.

4) What are some tips for getting the wedding photos of your dreams?

Synergy is vital. You must know and trust your photographer, be on the same page visually and stylistically and trust implicitly that your very special, once in a lifetime day will be documented the way you envision it.

We love to get to know the couple before the day. And to make sure we are all in sync we schedule an E-session prior to the wedding (engagement session) so the couple can get to know us, our style and how we work. There must be a connection. That and really effective communication will get you want you want. We are very clear with our clients about what we do and how we do it. We need time to get the reactions and the set-ups that identify our style. We love it if our couples are open to a “first look” – seeing each other before the wedding and having time to create some beautiful, inspired images, quietly, privately and reflectively before the day goes by in a blur. Also this frees them up on the day to just enjoy the event and not have to worry if they’ve got all the shots they wanted. It’s also time for them together to just be…We understand this is not for everyone, and some clients love traditions – not seeing each other before the big day. We respect that and work with that, too.

5) What is something all couples should know about wedding photography?

All couples should know there is a very big distinction between basic wedding photography and getting fine art images from an artist. You’ll get what you pay for. Basic blanket wedding photography and fine art documentary imagery are very different kinds of fields. The best wedding photographers are true artists. Make sure to see a portfolio, inquire about qualifications and time in business, professional affiliations and recommendations. Plus ask your photographers who their mentors are and what working high-end wedding photographers they admire. And above all you must meet with your photographer before the wedding and have a signed agreement and be very clear on what is and importantly what is not included in your package.

6) Have you worked with any other wedding vendors you can recommend?

Yes, we love to share, recommend, connect and refer other vendors both Japan based and international. Some of our current favorites include:

· For our high-end printing and framing needs we use The Tokyo Atelier of Photography. Contact Mitsuhiro Matsudaira http://www.tokyoatelier.com/english/index.htm

· For our high-end chic photo books we only use Asuka Books. Printed here in Japan.

· For high-quality, modern slideshows we use Animoto.

Bella's Cupcakes, www.bellas-tokyo.com

Full name: Farah
Job title: Owner of Bella's Cupcakes
Length of time operating Bella's Cupcakes: 1 year

1) Tell me a bit about Bella's Cupcakes.

Bella's cupcakes is all about having one goal – "to bring you the very best handcrafted cupcakes from the most authentic ingredients" here in Japan.

2) What percentage of your clients are weddings?

We would say we receive 1-2 enquiries on weddings each week and this is slowly increasing especially during this period of year when people are preparing for weddings next year and we have already booked several clients for next year already.

3) What special services do you offer for weddings? (flavors, decorations, etc.)

Our wedding cakes have a very unique traditional taste, which makes them perfect for weddings. The most popular requests for weddings is usually the classic vanilla with raspberry and buttercream filling however we have a selection of over 12 different flavors. Our cupcakes for weddings are also specifically designed with our signature wedding piping and flowers. Customers can in addition choose to alter and add to this design depending on taste and the theme of the wedding. Some of the designs made this year have been a top tier butterflies and flowers wedding cake with cupcakes, yellow roses two-tiered cake with cupcakes, mini cupcakes with letters shaped into a love heart, and a chocolate and dark rose three-tier cake. Lastly we offer a free consultation with no obligations and an opportunity to taste some of our yummy cupcakes!

4) Do you also offer traditional wedding cakes in addition to cupcakes?

Yes, we also make traditional tiered cakes you will see examples of these on our facebook page (Bella's Cupcakes Tokyo) and on our home page www.bellas-tokyo.com. When catering for weddings we cater for all aspects of the wedding cake service and we even have over 16 specifically designed cupcake and cake stands which our customers can hire for the event.

5) Are you able to handle special dietary requests?

Yes, usually we will talk about all the dietary requests during the consultation.

6) Have you worked with any other wedding-related vendors you can recommend?

One great vendor we thoroughly enjoyed working with was Bills in Kamakura – this is a great chic place but also very English-friendly. Here in Tokyo we found most of the hotels to be very English-friendly.

Guy Totaro, aka Supa Gaijin, www.supagaijin.com

Full name: Guy Totaro

Company name as you'd like it to appear in print: 外楽COMPANY株式会社

GAETANO Company KK

Job title: Owner / Operator

Length of time in Japan: 5 1/2 years this time around + about 4 years in the mid '90s.

Length of time as Guy the Supagaijin:

I created my Supagaijin character while performing at my first gig in Japan at Korakuen Yuenchi in 1994.

I thought it would be fun to play with typical Japanese expectations about foreigners (specifically a big white American man like me). SUPA or スパ has different meanings – it can be the epitome of a classic "Gaijin" stereotype (big, loud, and overbearing) or a truly SUPA Gaijin who does SUPER things (magic, juggling, music, and comedy). Just when they think that they "get me" I surprise them with an odd understanding of the language, culture, and skills that they didn't expect me to have.

1) Please give me a brief description of your services in general and at weddings specifically.

GAETANO Company provides customized interactive entertainment for all kinds of parties and events – big or small – ages 3 to 103.

Every wedding is unique and each couple have their idea of how to celebrate their big day. An appearance by Supagaijin is perfect for those people who want something fun and very different. Supagaijin does it all –comedy, magic, singing, music, juggling, balloons, fire and more! The one thing that is always the same is the SILLINESS! Supagaijin can be Master of Ceremonies or even officiate the ceremony.

"The Infinite Happiness Orchestra," a Jazz Quartet featuring Clarinet, Ukulele, Keyboard and Tube, is also available to provide music during cocktail time, Supagaijin's show time and for dancing.

2) What percentage of your clients/performances take place at weddings?

Our primary clients are family oriented parties – birthdays, holidays, school and corporate events. We currently don't target the wedding market in our advertising so weddings are a small percentage of our business. The weddings we have done have all been through word of mouth connections. PLEASE spread the word – Supagaijin will make your wedding SUPA!!!

3) What are some typical things that you do at weddings?

Each wedding party is tailored to fit the personalities of the bride and groom and the theme of the party.

20 to 30 minutes is the perfect amount of time for a Supagaijin visit.

5 to10 minutes – performing magic and comedy during cocktail time or from table to table after a meal.

Followed by a 10 to 15 minute customized show which can include the bride and the groom (or the best man, parents, etc.) in the finale.

5 to 10 minutes of photos, etc.

I incorporate magical "Love" and / or "Heart" elements into the performance.

Interacting with the bride and groom during the show is a great way to share happiness, joy, and love with family and friends.

4) How do you work with couples to determine what role you'll play at their wedding?

I like to meet and spend time with the couples to get a feel for what would work for them. The most important thing is listening to what they like and what they want. This is the biggest day of their lives and I'll do what ever I can to make it a special occasion and a lasting joyous memory.

5) Do you have any words of advice for couples wanting to get married in Japan?

Keep the elements of traditions and ceremony that have meaning and are important to you. There is just one rule that you must follow and that is in your heart. Your wedding is YOUR day so feel free to do it YOUR way!

new veggie discovery: café banda

2011-02-04T21:49:00.000-08:00

last night i tried a new (to me) veggie restaurant just off of kamiyama dori (between dogenzaka and yoyogikoen station on the chiyoda line) called café banda. it was not strictly vegetarian, but they have an entire page dedicated to vegetarian options, which sets it apart from most other cafés catering to omnivores.

we sampled the following dishes:

tofu, chickpeas & mushroom with genovese marinade

avocado & tempeh fresh spring rolls

pizza with potato, genovese sauce, fresh tomatoes

brown veggie stew with brown rice

everything was super-flavorful and the portions were quite generous. in fact, we sadly couldn't finish any of the dishes because there was just too much of everything.

it's a little out of the way from the main part of shibuya, but if you're looking for a cute, quiet, and veggie-friendly place, it's definitely worth checking out.

café banda

41-3 kamiyama-cho

shibuya-ku

tel: 03.3467.5105

http://banda.2mix.net/

foreign dudes in japan: raw & uncut

2011-02-01T05:59:00.000-08:00

several months back, i wrote what i thought was a lighthearted and fun take on a somewhat upsetting moment i observed between an irate western man and his japanese wife and baby. my article was published here and here, where it gathered plenty of irate responses from western men. apparently i had touched a nerve. i learned a valuable lesson through this experience – don't mess with foreign men in japan. (and also, don't read the comments that people write in response to your articles online because it's generally just too upsetting.)

i often write about dating japanese men, but i thought that it might be interesting to explore the topic of dating foreign men here. unfortunately, my experiences with foreign guys here have been less-than-stellar, and the article reflected that, so it was turned down. that means that you, dear readers, have the special pleasure of reading my as of yet unpublished experiences with foreign men here in japan in the raw and uncut version. enjoy! and if you have any stories you'd like to share, please feel free!

****

Foreign Dudes in Japan: Charisma men or just misunderstood?

It’s hard to mention the situation of the foreign man in Japan without bringing up that tried and true stereotype of Charisma man. You know, the über-geek who magically transforms into a lady-killer the moment he steps off the plane. We’ve all seen such specimens strutting down the street rocking their non-ironic cat motif silkscreen t-shirts with their gorgeous Japanese wives or girlfriends in tow. Though I don’t have any cold, hard figures to deal with, I think it’s safe to say that the Charisma Men can only account for a smallish percentage of the foreign men in Japan. So what about the rest of them?

In my first few years in Japan, my encounters with foreign men were limited to coworkers and acquaintances from the Eikaiwa industry. They pretty much seemed to follow the same pattern. They’d arrive in Japan, fresh-faced and innocent, saying that they weren’t really interested in Japanese women. Inevitably, within three months or so, I’d run into the same guy, this time with his Japanese girlfriend. If I called him on it, he’d explain that he hadn’t found Japanese women attractive initially, but now that he’d seen the light, he didn’t think he would ever date women from his home country again. Great. As if us foreign ladies didn’t have it hard enough here. Lesson number 1 about dating foreign men in Japan – you need to snap them up before they “go native.”

For the reasons mentioned above (and my own interest/obsession with Japanese men), it wasn’t until my second stint in Japan that I managed to actually date some foreign fellows on these shores. I met Mr. Rockstar, a longterm expat and serial dater of Japanese women, through a mutual friend. While there were some alarm bells (the fact that he was wearing sunglasses indoors at 3am, for example), according to my friend he was smitten with me (perhaps it was the sunglasses impairing his vision?). We went out on a date that went reasonably well, spent some time chatting and texting, but something wasn’t quite clicking. The next time my friend invited me to go out with Mr. Rockstar and his friend, he ignored me the entire night. This was quite a feat, considering there were only 4 of us in our party. I heard later that he had promptly married and had a baby with a Japanese woman he’d met shortly after our little interlude. This led me to believe that perhaps he just wanted to try dating a foreign woman one last time, almost as a sort of dare, but was only approaching it half-assedly.

A few weeks later, I met Mr. LA, an American who was visiting for a few weeks, though he’d spent a year in Japan as an exchange student. We met in a bar and made plans to hang out the next evening, his last night in Japan. On the phone, Mr. LA told me he needed a favor and then proceeded to ask me if I would pretend to be his wife. Apparently, he wanted to play a trick on an old friend. Though jokes of this sort are not really my style, I was intrigued enough to agree. We met early in the evening to concoct an elaborate story (which included meeting at Leonardo di Caprio’s birthday party and getting busy on the It’s a Small World After All ride when it broke down at Disneyland), but his friend believed everything so wholeheartedly that he decided to come clean. “Too bad,” she replied. “I thought you two made a great couple.”

I don’t know if it was the intimacy of pretending to be husband and wife, the heat of the late summer night, or a genuine spark between us, but I fell for Mr. LA that night. In a karaoke box in the wee hours of the morning, one moment I was singing Justin Timberlake and the next moment we were kissing. Though he was supposed to leave the next day, he ended up rescheduling his flight so we could spend a few more days together. He kept talking about how I should come visit him and he was already planning his next trip to Japan. It all sounded so convincing when were walking down the street holding hands, but once he got back home, he sent me an email or two and I never heard from him again. I still haven’t figured out what it all meant.

Foreign guys have a lot going for them – shared culture and backgrounds, the ability to communicate more simply, less of a tendency to devote their lives to their jobs, but my experiences with Mr. Rockstar and Mr. LA left me frustrated and disappointed. I realized that foreign guys in Japan can be just as flaky, non-committal, and incomprehensible as they are back home. I wouldn’t say that I made a conscious decision to avoid them, but I figured there were still plenty of fish in the Sea of Japan and not only did they have cuter hairstyles, but they seemed a lot less intent on playing games.

eating vegetarian food in bali

2011-01-30T01:30:00.000-08:00

i recently went on a little adventure to bali and, despite sc's grumbling about the fact that i kept making him go to places that were inauthentic and full of foreigners, i found that there were tons of vegetarian, vegan, and raw options there. here's a quick little guide:

sanur

manik organik is a great little café/yoga studio on sanur's main drag. they have tons of vegetarian and vegan options (including veg versions of indonesian dishes) and tons of amazing juices and smoothies. the covered outdoor terrace is super-relaxing.

manik organik, www.manikorganikbali.com

tel: +62.361.8553380

kuta

after striking out twice since both café aromas and earth café appeared to be shut down/closed for the day, we were a bit frustrated (and hungry!). luckily, we chanced upon the slightly unusual deity of miracle vegan resto (just across the highway from kuta's earth café). this was one of the most scenic places we ended up dining, being poised atop a tall, open-style building overlooking rice paddies. there were cows grazing in the fields nearby, and you could even sit in your own private hut outside if you wanted. the menu was very much of the chinese vegetarian bent, with lots of fake meat dishes, but also plenty of pure veggie and rice dishes. the staff there didn't speak as much english as most other places we went, but there was an english menu and the food was all really tasty.

deity of miracle vegan resto, jl. sunset road number 88, simpang dewa ruci, kuta

tel: +62.361.764.788

seminyak

earth café was a cute little restaurant/health food/natural clothing store on one of the main shopping streets in seminyak. in addition to brown rice-based lunch plates of the day, they have tons of sandwiches (from falafel to seitan), and baked goodies.

earth café, www.downtoearthbali.com, jl. oberoi 99, seminyak

tel:0361.736645

ubud

of course ubud is the heaven of all things yoga and veg in bali, so there are plenty of amazing options here.

when we stepped into kafe, i knew i was in heaven. the menu read like a list of all the foods i long to eat here in tokyo but have to search the city high and low to find. mezze plate featuring hummus and baba ghanoush? of course! fresh spring rolls made with tofu, cilantro, and mint, with peanut sauce? why yes, we have that, too! a list of fresh juices and smoothies several pages long? YES!!! my only complaint was that i was so full from my lunch that i didn't have space for the amazing-looking raw chocolate cake. yeah, i know, life is really rough sometimes.

kafe, www.balispirit.com/kafe, 44b jalan hanoman, ubud

tel: 361.970.992

bali buddha was another lovely ubud option. we did have a little bit of a hard time finding it since it was not on one of the main streets. the store downstairs had all sorts of natural potions and lotions, plus some incredible baked goods and raw treats. the menu featured all sorts of vegetarian, vegan, and raw options, but it was a little overwhelming because they had such a wide variety (from indonesian to italian to mexican) so it was hard to know what to choose. sc had a simple stir-fried veggie dish and i opted for enchiladas. they were tasty but we both had the feeling maybe we hadn't chosen the best options there. for dessert, though, i know i chose right when i picked a little raw chocolate cup (cashew and cacao base with chocolate pudding on the inside --- YUM!!) from the store downstairs.

bali buddha café, www.balibuddha.com, jl. jembaran, ubud

tel: 976.324

clear café was a chic and stylishly decorated spot on ubud's jl. hanoman. it's on the main street, though you have to pass through a gate to get in, so it feels a little like an exclusive club. you kick your shoes off on the steps and then settle in to one of the tables in front or booths in back. there are tons of amazing drink options. we enjoyed the cucumber and mint-infused water as well as some of their smoothies (though unfortunately i can't remember exactly what kind i had, i know it was mind-blowing). the meal itself was good -- sc had a super-flavorful pad thai and i went for "the living tower of pisa," a stack of raw veggies with pesto and sun-dried tomato paste. the absolute highlight, though, was the biggest piece of raw cake i have EVER seen. this masterpiece had triple layers of vanilla, "milk" chocolate, and dark chocolate ice cream atop a cashew nut crust. definitely worth a visit just to try that baby!

clear café, 8 jl. hanoman, padang tegal kaje, ubud

tel: 889.4437

i hope you find this list useful! let me know if you discover any other gems and i'll try to check them out next time i visit!

asante sana

2011-01-26T03:52:00.001-08:00

last weekend, a friend invited me to go to this cute little cafe between ebisu and meguro called asante sana. about twice a month, they offer their "café yoga" deal, where you come at 9:30, do yoga for an hour or so, and then they feed you a tasty veggie lunch. there were a few things that slightly freaked me out/made me a teensy bit uncomfortable, which were:

*you actually do yoga on the floor in the café. am i being anal, or does that just not seem that sanitary? i had a hard time getting over that, despite all the relaxation and whatnot.

*there are several points in the lesson where you have to chant. although i love yoga and have tried many different styles, i have always been a bit sketched out by chanting.

*i was the only non-japanese person, AND it was my first time there, so during the lunch portion it became more like a Q&A about me and my life. it's okay, as i've mentioned before, it's usually pretty easy for me to just talk about myself in that kind of situation, i would have liked it if everyone else would have at least told me their names. they did not.

all that said, there were several good points, which included:

*it only cost 3,000 yen for both the class and lunch, which is definitely a bargain

*the food was really tasty and satisfying, and it was vegetarian!

*the store/café where it's held also puts on all sorts of farmers' markets, midnight hikes, and cooking classes, so you really feel like you're contributing to a community. they also put on a beach yoga event in the summer which sounds like a lot of fun.

i didn't opt to sign up for the next session, but i would totally go back and would recommend it to someone who wanted to start their saturday off feeling healthy, relaxed, and stretched.

money, money, money

2011-01-25T04:41:00.000-08:00

okay, so this is a topic i've never really addressed in my blog (and maybe not so much in my life either, which is probably the root of the problem), but recently i've started to freak out about finances. it's weird because for the past 6 months, i've had a regular job and paycheck, which is an about-face from the previous year and a half. so why is it that when i was freelancing i didn't feel nearly as freaked out about my finances as i do now?

okay, so i know that the above statement isn't 100% true. when i was freelancing, i was always worried about making ends meet and unexpected expenses. i think the big difference is that at that time, i was really focused on the near future, e.g. how am i going to pay rent this month? will i be able to afford to go to this wedding next month? as long as i could meet those little hurdles, i didn't even really start to think about the long-term. however, now i that i do find myself looking further into the future, i feel so much more powerless.

i have a few issues. one is that i still have student loans from grad school that i'm paying back. i've made progress, but i still have a sizable chunk of change hanging over my head. that alone wouldn't be so bad, but i've also got my credit card bill, which is less than my student loan, but still significant. i feel kinda stupid because i kind of thought my dad and i had an unspoken agreement that he would pay it for me, but i'm now coming to realize that that's not necessarily the case. again, i think i was just sticking my head in the sand and hoping the problem would go away on its own. guess what? it didn't.

my first priority has always been paying back my loans, but now i know that i need to cut down on that credit card debt, too. just doing those two things is my mid-term goal, but i'm still left with questions. it feels like just having the goal of paying off debt is not enough. i need to have something positive to focus on, but i don't know what or how. a lot of people my age have already bought a house, but i'm so far from being able to do that that it just doesn't seem worth thinking about. i would also need to decide where said house would be located. so it may be better to focus on something else, but i'm not sure what.

anyway, i have no idea if anyone else is interested in my financial woes (probably not), but i imagine i'm not the only one out there with similar issues. if anyone has any words of wisdom they'd like to share, please feel free!

the power of words

2011-01-19T04:15:00.000-08:00

here i am, back to my old tricks of watching reality tv and gaining insight into the ways of the world. tonight's revelation comes courtesy of america's next top model. in the first photo shoot of season 15, tyra asked the girls to tackle the issue of teen bullying by choosing the word that had been used to insult them the most and then turn it around by choosing a new word that expressed their confidence, beauty, and power. the girls' bodies were then painted with both the bullying word and the power word, and they posed for the camera, aiming to convey just the right amount of vulnerability and strength. while sometimes the show can seem a bit contrived and there are often tears as girls talk about their hardships, this episode felt refreshingly raw and real. it was also heartening to see tyra take the time to speak with the girls who were really struggling and offer them some words of encouragement. it's hard to believe that someone who made an entire career out of her looks could have ever suffered through self-doubt, but even the gorgeous super-model was once awkward and unsure of herself.

anyway, back to the photo shoot. anne, in all her 6'2 splendor, was transformed from "giant" to "amazon." kayla, the only openly gay girl went from "queer" to "free," and drop-dead gorgeous liz went from "mutt" to "biracial beauty."

of course i got to thinking about if i were to participate in the photo shoot what words i would choose. i went through a fair amount of teasing and light bullying in my late years of elementary school, though there was not one particular name people called me that really sticks out in my mind.

it was actually in college when i heard what i consider the most insulting thing someone has ever said about me. let me just preface this by saying that from late elementary school through to the end of college, i was super-shy and had a hard time opening up to and connecting with new people. the one thing that always helped me, though, was to smile. even if i couldn't work up the courage to speak to someone, a smile was the one way i could communicate with anyone, and i was often complimented for that.

so it was especially painful when i learned that someone (just an acquaintance from my university, not someone i knew well) had called me "a smile whore." it made me question everything i knew about myself and my way of interacting with others, so that would be my bully word, without a doubt.

as for my power word, when i sat down to write this post, i wasn't sure what it would be, but then it came to me in a flash. i don't remember the exact context, but one of my friends once told that i "radiate light." if i'm feeling down or upset, i often draw strength and inspiration from the imagery of those words, so those would be my power words. radiating light overpowers smile whore any day. now where's the camera? i'm ready for my photo shoot!

what would your bully word be? what about your power word?

today's ephiphany

2011-01-18T04:13:00.000-08:00

yesterday we were having an interesting discussion at work about groundhogs (apparently these little guys are not too well known in japan), which led to a quick google search on groundhogs, which led to the "discovery" that groundhogs are allegedly also referred to as "land beavers." i feel the quotation marks on the word discovery are warranted because i have never in my life ever heard anyone use the term "land beaver" and i suspect that this could just be an act of vandalism. which reminds me -- did everyone know that there's such a thing as a wikipedia vandal and these people just go to random entries and add random words or bits of nonsense? i mean, i knew that wikipedia was hardly an irrefutable source, but i didn't know that people intentionally wrote misleading or simply inappropriate material in there.

anyway, anything that contains the word beaver is just inherently funny (to me, anyway), so i couldn't help but laugh out loud at that one. since i'd been away on vacation for the past week, i think i had gotten used to laughing heartily without too much concern for my surroundings. however, in the calm quiet of a predominantly japanese office, i could nearly hear my laugh reverberate off the walls.

when i was reflecting on that moment this morning, i thought to myself, "i should really try not to let that happen again. it's very distracting and inappropriate." and then i thought, "wow, that is really sad. how about working in a place where laughing out loud is encouraged instead?" yes, that is certainly one of my goals for the future.

it's interesting because people often tell me that i seem so japanese in my mannerisms and way of interacting with others, and while for the most part i agree, my insanely hearty laugh is one aspect that just refuses to be contained.

do you have anything about yourself that you are unable/unwilling to compromise, no matter where you are? or do you find yourself able to adapt to whatever surroundings you find yourself in?

bali, baby

2011-01-17T03:56:00.000-08:00

here are a few snapshots from my trip to bali last week.

adorable monkeys and their babies at the sacred monkey forest in ubud.

the lush and magical ubud forest. this view was from our room's veranda. at night, we sat outside listening to the symphony of insects trying to figure out what we were hearing. we were both blown away by the unexpected visit of a few glittering fireflies -- pure magic.

i loved this statue of ganesh.

this buggy provided our transportation from ubud to seminyak. it was great when we were rolling along with the breeze in our hair and the gorgeous rice fields streaming by. it was not so great, however, when we were stuck in traffic with approximately 5 billion scooters.

maiko makeover

2011-01-04T03:45:00.000-08:00

for my birthday a few days ago, the sc and i headed to kyoto for the day to studio shiki so i could dress up like a maiko (trainee geisha). i've been all about the dressing up lately, so it was quite a treat to have my makeup done and be all wrapped up in a luxurious kimono and obi. the sc was also outfitted to look like a samurai, and i must say he makes quite a dashing one, though he was mortally embarrassed by the whole affair and would probably die of shame if i posted any of the photos of him.

pictured here are a few of the photos taken in their studio. they also let us wander around outside in the very picturesque sannenzaka area of kyoto near kiyomizudera, and we got some lovely outdoor shots, too, which i will one day try to post up here.

i would recommend the experience for anyone who entertains certain fantasies about having been a geisha in a past life (despite lacking any sort of grace, refinement, or taste for shamisen music in this one), or for anyone wanting to try wearing a kimono, or basically just anyone wanting to get some great photo ops.

on the other hand...

2010-12-09T05:35:00.000-08:00

i know my previous post was all happy and smiley and sparkly, but i do sometimes wonder... for all those people out there who say that you can create your own reality just by thinking things, there is someone else who says that you should never get your hopes up too high because then you're just asking for disappointment, and – even sadder – that if something seems too good to be true, that's because it probably is. how do you reconcile those two schools of thought? i really don't know.

i can say that at certain phases of my life that i would now describe as highlights, i was able to enjoy them so much because they utterly exceeded my low expectations. or they were just an improvement on the kinda crappy phase that preceded them. so why was i able to enter those magical phases? was it because i just expected things to go on unsatisfactorily, and thus when they didn't i was pleasantly surprised to the point of rapture? or had i been manifesting those improvements all along whenever i daydreamed of happier days?

on a final note, i recently read an article in the new york times on daydreaming, which seemed to be saying that daydreaming is a dangerous pursuit since it tends to make people more unhappy than happy. ever since reading it i've felt guilty every time i've caught myself on a flight of fancy. whether or not that guilt is productive is open to debate, but one good habit i think i've gotten out of it is calling myself back to the present, taking a look around me, and living in the moment.

you create your own reality

2010-11-18T04:24:00.000-08:00

once upon a time i had a friend who i would call to chat with about whatever was going on in my life. she actually lived in the same building as me, but for some reason we often talked on the phone anyway (we were grad school students so calling within the same building was free and sometimes easier than hiking your butt up and down the stairs). one day i was talking with her about how i wished i could just be swept off my feet by a guy. lo and behold, the very next day i was walking down the street and started chatting with a dashing fellow who i'd seen around but never spoken to. we ended up standing in the street and chatting for a whole hour, which is pretty much as close to being swept off your feet as us urban girls can hope for.

later on, i kept referring to a party with some of my classmates as a "hoe-down", and while it was not technically a hoe-down, there were cowboy hats being worn and that hyped up mix of "cotton-eyed joe" also ended up on the turntables at one point. there were many, many further instances of times when i discussed something with her and shortly thereafter it came to fruition (unfortunately i can't remember any of the good ones at the moment). at one point, this led her to say to me, "it's not just a coincidence that you say something and then it happens. you create your own reality!"

this was the first time that i became aware of using your thoughts or intentions to make things happen. a few years later, when i read the secret, i realized that i was already aware of these techniques, i just hadn't put a name on them yet.

i think for a long time i didn't have a lot of concrete goals for myself. i tended to focus on the big stuff, like "graduate from high school," "get into college," "write your senior thesis," etc. however, at certain points in my life since then, i've realized that i have little dreams -- i don't want to call them frivolous -- but they're certainly not major milestones like the ones i've just mentioned. anyway, sometimes it's not until i've achieved them that i remember how i'd longed for these little accomplishments, but here are just a few of them.

- going to pay the bill in a restaurant or bar and being told , "no, it's already been taken care of."
- being stopped in the street to be photographed by a fashion magazine
- getting dressed up in a fancy kimono
- making the decision to live somewhere so that i can be near people i love

i know that most of these are just little things, but seeing some of the people around me who are so actively pursuing their big dreams, it makes me realize that just as nothing is too big to dream of, nor is there anything too small to put a name on it and wish for it to happen. from here on out, i'm planning on actively pursuing all these glittering gems of wishes and dreams, and seeing just how much of a gorgeous reality i can create. i'll keep you posted.

the year of the wedding continues

2010-11-17T03:45:00.000-08:00

i am currently working on a project that requires me to interview various couples about their weddings. just in case anyone has lost count, or joined me recently (hi!), 2010 has been the year of the wedding for me. not only did i travel abroad to attend 3 weddings in two weeks, i wrote my first feature article (this is not exactly what appeared in print, but you get the idea) on vegan weddings, attended another 3 weddings here in japan, and got invited to another two that i had to turn down. so when i had the opportunity to write yet one more wedding-related article, i thought, why not?

it's kinda funny -- at the beginning of the year, i would say i was pretty against the idea of getting married. i didn't have any problem with other people getting married, i just wasn't sure if it was in the cards for me. now, it doesn't seem quite as impossible as it once did. however, i'm not sure if i'm just feeling that way because something within me has actually changed or if it's because i'm feeling peer pressure since almost everyone i know either got engaged or married this year.

anyway, this is all basically a moot point since sc and i are not engaged, but it's just interesting to observe a change in one's attitudes but not know where that change is coming from.

what keeps you here?

2010-11-16T03:09:00.000-08:00

today i was chatting with a group of international fellows (two americans and one new zealander) and we first started discussing some things that can be annoying here in japan, such as being told "no, you can't have mustard on that sandwich" even though the restaurant in question undoubtedly has mustard, and on top of that, the way that sometimes when people tell you no here, they have to go through this whole rigamarole of apologizing profusely when a simple, "no, i'm sorry that's not possible" would do just fine. but then we realized that the seemingly simple, "no, i'm sorry that's not possible" goes against the very essence of japan. at that point, the conversation changed tack and instead of discussing things that annoyed us, one fellow asked quite an interesting question. he said, "everyone always asks you why you came to japan, but i think a more important question is 'what keeps you here?'" it was also interesting to hear people's responses, because they all contained elements of why i find myself loving it here and finding it so hard to leave. one guy said it's because he likes feeling special and different. another guy said that back home, he's shy, but in japan he's considered outgoing, and he likes his newfound personality. the last guy said it's the smell, at which point we started teasing him about the "shibuya smell" and other nastiness you can find here, but he was talking about some intangible feeling in the air rather than any physical odor. for me all of those reasons are true, plus the fact that i love the safety and the cleanliness, i love the fact that every day can feel like an adventure, and, oh yeah, there happens to be one surfing chef who i find it impossible to quit.

so, my japan-based friends -- what keeps you here?

and if anyone who is reading this is not in japan, what keeps you where you are?

the true meaning of romance -- gangsta rap

2010-11-12T06:56:00.000-08:00

just had a lovely girls' night out with some of my favorite ladies in tokyo and the topic of first kisses somehow came up. i believe the flow of the conversation went like this -- we were discussing rollerskating, which reminded me of the lock-in they held at my local rollerskating rink when i was 11 or so, which reminded me of how we played spin the bottle and one of my friends had to french kiss some random guy.

anyhow, this whole conversation reminded me of one of the first guys i "went out with," although i don't believe we ever "went" anywhere together, except maybe for a walk around the playground. what we did do, however, was spend a lot of time talking on the phone to each other. though we were living in the far-from-rough-and-tumble suburbs of anchorage, alaska, we fancied ourselves "gangstas" and he would write raps for me. i remember one of them went a little something like this "some say she's a bitch, but they don't know what they're talking about / come steppin' to me and i'll knock the punks out." as i recall, some of the lines were a bit more complimentary towards me, but i can't recall any of them off the top of my head. it's just endearing to recall how an 11-year-old would use gangsta rap as a form of romance, and now looking back on it, it's still one of the sweetest things a guy has done for me.

sliver of moon

2010-11-09T04:42:00.000-08:00

sometimes the beauty is in the emptiness or the space that surrounds something rather than the thing itself. take tonight's moon, for instance. the brightly lit part is only a small sliver, hinting at what is needed to complete the circle.

towards an active and healthy lifestyle

2010-11-07T04:57:00.001-08:00

like a lot of women (and men, for that matter), i have always struggled with body image and self-esteem. for a long time, much to the dismay of guys i was dating, i would simply complain about the features of my body that displeased me, but i wouldn't actually do anything about it. i have a nearly insatiable sweet tooth and while i have at times managed to cut down on my sugar intake, i have never gone on a diet, per se. for pretty much as long as i can remember, i have also considered myself to be "physically uncoordinated." i have been thinking quite a bit about the points anna kunnecke makes here about the stories you tell yourself about who you are. where did i get this idea that i was uncoordinated and why did i treat it as irrefutable truth?

it wasn't until i started hooping that i realized that just because i had thought of myself a certain way for so long that didn't necessarily make it true. this is not to say that i have gotten over all my issues of body image and self-confidence. but i have learned that if you give yourself the opportunity to try something you didn't think you could do, you just may be surprised with the results.

this weekend i had two eye-opening experiences. first of all, i agreed to spend a day with friends at a sporting/amusement center, something that once upon a time would have inspired utter terror in me. when we first arrived, i was really questioning myself and whether i was going to be able to enjoy the day. the activity that had drawn me to this sporting center in the first place was rollerskating, something that i was once passionately enthusiastic about (obviously in a time before i started telling myself i wasn't good at physical activity). this weekend, i decided to try inline skating since it's something i've always wanted to do but never had a chance to. after a few tentative and shaky steps, i was surprised to find how naturally the movement came to me. i'm guessing it was the muscle memory from all those childhood rollerskating sessions, but it was such a wake-up call to my brain. "hey you!" my legs seemed to be saying "look at what we can do! and we don't even need you!"

my second moment came earlier today, when i was hooping on the beach. i had a lot of fun today, testing myself, trying some new moves, and just moving with the music. so when sc came back and told me that he overheard some other surfers say how good i was, i couldn't help but brim with pride for a minute. though i still hesitate to describe myself as being "good" at any kind of physical activity, at least i'm learning that i should stop telling myself i'm bad.

have you had any similar experiences? have you ever surprised yourself by doing something you thought you couldn't do?

coincidentally / par hasard /guzen

2010-11-05T16:18:00.000-07:00

in the past week, i have run into 5 people i know in this megalopolis we call home. when i say "run into", i mean met without prior plan or premeditation. in fact, 3 of these 5 people are individuals i'm not in regular contact with, but have known in some capacity, usually as coworkers. in a city of 12 million people, does 5 times in one week seem a little high to you? it certainly does to me!

it was especially funny to one of my coworkers, because on the very day that i told her how i had run into two former coworkers totally randomly, we ran into each other in the station later than evening.

okay, so you say, that's not that strange. i mean, if you work with people you're bound to take the same train lines and hang out in roughly the same areas. well, i've got a doozy for you.

6 years ago, when i moved back to the states from kyoto, i put an ad on craig's list looking for a japanese language exchange partner. one fellow, t, responded to my ad. we met up several times and got to be friends. then the summer ended, he moved back to japan and i went to england. end of story.

except... when i moved to tokyo a year later, i contacted him since i knew he was from around here. we started hanging out in tokyo, and he kept telling me about this amazing club he always went to that we had to check out. one night, we met up and went to the club. he's really into hip hop, so he was hanging out in that area, but it was a little too smoky for me, so i went to hang out by the outdoor pool. i was dancing and having fun by the pool, when who should i meet but the one and only sc (my main squeeze for those of you who are unfamiliar with his nickname). so we meet, we hit it off, so i decide to go introduce him to t. they say hi, mister sc leaves, and that's the end of the story.

except... a few weeks later, when sc and i are officially dating, one night i'm chatting online with t. he asks how things are going with the guy i met at the club and i tell him great. he just invited me to go stay the night at his parents' house in kanagawa. "wait a minute," says t. "i'm from kanagawa. which city?" i tell him. "that's where i'm from!" he says. "what's his last name?" he asks me. i tell him. "OMG!!!" he says (though t is very manly and he probably didn't use exactly that phrasing, you get the picture). "i know him!!! we went to elementary school together!!!" when i asked sc about this, sure enough, he knows t and his twin brother n.

can i just say how crazy is that?! this guy, who i randomly met as my exchange partner in portland, oregon, and this guy, who i randomly met at a nightclub full of thousands of people in tokyo, went to the same elementary school!?! i am still struck with wonder every time i think of it!

i think the universe is trying to tell me something, but i have yet to figure out exactly what that is...

some ideas

2010-11-04T05:57:00.000-07:00

i'm in the midst of trying to write a column, but i'm experiencing some frustrations this time around. i'm not sure why. maybe i'm just out of practice. these are the topics i'm contemplating:

-- love hotels. my personal experiences with them and whether or not they're all they're cracked up to be.

-- japanese weddings and why i find them so painful.

-- romance. are j guys lacking the romance gene? let's talk it over.

what do you think? do any of those topics appeal to you? is there something you'd like to know about dating j guys? let me know!

new look!

2010-11-03T14:58:00.000-07:00

do you like my new look?? much love to d love and masao for their help. oh yes, i also have my own website now, so please feel free to check it out!

<3

seasons change

2010-10-25T05:05:00.000-07:00

putting away my summertime clothes. transitioning into the cool of autumn. already missing those warm summer nights when you can walk along without a care in the world, just feeling the heat from the day slowly dissipate (or sometimes not dissipate at all). autumn, i don't have any problems with you per se, it's just that i don't like how you're a harbinger of the cold that's to come. just as i don't like the way the rain limits my worldview and closes my parameters to the dimensions of my umbrella, i don't like how the cold of winter keeps me feeling frozen and immobile, instead of free and expanding the way i like to (but i'm not talking about my waistline here!) i'm talking about expanding my horizons, my possibilities, thinking of the world as limitless and undefined. why is it so hard to remember (or easy to forget) how full of infinite possibility the world is during winter? anyhow, we're not there yet. we're still posed on the precipice, so before we get to the harshness of the cold we still have the changing leaves, the juicy pears, and the gradually layered sweaters to look forward to. let's look forward shall we (but not too far lest we forget the present).

new projects

2010-10-20T08:13:00.000-07:00

there are lots of things i’m excited about getting involved in at the moment. here’s a short list:

- planning a roller-skating excursion (i haven’t roller-skated since i was in junior high and i’m really ready to relive the thrill. i hope the rink here also has that old popcorn/nacho cheese smell i remember from the roller rinks of yesteryear)

- participating in thrill the world (groups of people all over the globe dancing to thriller — it’s almost too amazing)

- a gorgeous photo shoot late at night before it gets too cold, showcasing beauty and rough edges at the same time

- an ice cream tour with a group of friends

for every rude-ass person in the world...

2010-10-05T05:11:00.000-07:00

there is apparently also someone who is so unnecessarily kind it almost breaks your heart.

as i mentioned in my previous post, i was recently upset by a rude employee of the tokyo metro who refused to sell me a ticket for reasons unbeknownst to me. however, luckily (i'm chalking this up to some law of physics in the universe), today's experiences at the kuyakusho (city hall) were on the other end of the spectrum.

let me break it down for you.

1) i arrive at the kuyakusho at 8:25am. the official opening time is 8:30.

2) the glass doors are closed and there's a sign in front. as i'm trying to decipher the kanji on the sign (does anyone else feel that "reading" is not really the correct word for processing whatever information is contained in kanji?), a woman comes out and ushers me in. she kindly explains that they haven't officially opened yet, but rather than wait in the hall, why don't i take a number from the machine (my number is 1, naturally), and wait inside.

3) fully prepared to go sit on the bench, the friendly man at the foreigners' registration desk invites me to sit at the desk and begin my transaction. i check that it's okay since it's not officially open yet, and with a smile he says it's no problem.

4) he quickly updates my card, answers my questions, and -- now this is really rich -- invites me to have a nice day!!! i don't think i've ever even heard anyone say that in japanese before!! (良い１日を, ii ichi nichi wo).

5) i leave the city hall, my business complete and a song in my heart, taking note of the time.

it is 8:31.

thank you city hall employees, for your kindness and for restoring my faith in humanity. ii ichi nichi wo to you a thousand times over!

rude attitude

2010-09-30T04:27:00.000-07:00

okay, so one thing i really really hate is when people are rude for no apparent reason, especially in a service situation. i always try to approach people in the service industry with a kind and grateful attitude, because, hey, it just makes me feel good and happy when social interactions run smoothly and i appreciate the fact that they are doing a service for me. so, when people are suddenly, inexplicably rude, it just gets my goat.

case in point.

today, i needed to by my monthly commuter pass. this is the second time i've needed to do so on this particular route, so everything's still a little new to me. the first time i renewed my pass, i went into the ticket office, the kind man did everything for me and i was on my way in less than 2 minutes.

today, i walked into the ticket office, where there was one woman sitting at the desk and no other customers. i walk up and say "ohayo gozaimasu." she responds "irasshaimase." so far, so good. i then explain that i would like to get the same thing i already have, just for this month. to which she replies, "you can do that on the machine." to which i reply, "i'm not very good at reading kanji." to which she replies, "there's an english button." i start to walk away, but then i remember, hey, i bought my pass here (at this very ticket booth, albeit with a different attendant) last time. so i say, "last time i bought my pass here, so am i not allowed to do that anymore?" to which she replies, "you have to fill out a form and hand them in together." um... okay. the kind man last time must have realized that it causes undue stress to make foreigners fill out forms that they can't read, so he must have waived that step for me. i go to the stack of forms, start to fill one out, and then think, you know what? this is bs. this woman is supposed to be helping me, but she's basically just shooed me away because she couldn't be bothered to do whatever one or two steps the man must have done last time. so i angrily crumpled the paper (which was all in kanji, anyway) up into a ball, and proceeded to the machine, where i purchased my pass by myself.

i know that in the grand scheme of things this is not such a big deal, but i just don't understand why the woman – whose job it is to sell train tickets – wouldn't sell me a damn ticket. there were no other customers, it wasn't like i was holding up the line. the only thing i was apparently doing was preventing her from sitting on her bum, and she didn't move an inch during our whole conversation, so i didn't even prevent her from doing that.

anyway, after that little encounter, i pondered two things. 1) buying the pass from the machine is so much easier, but 2) i still don't understand why she couldn't have just explained that kindly AS SHE WAS SELLING ME A TICKET. harumph.

ego, schmego

2010-09-19T06:49:00.000-07:00

i had an interesting experience today. the surfing chef and i were invited to participate in a photo shoot with photographer hal. i can't reveal the details of the shoot just yet, but let's just say that it involved looking at myself in a way that i usually don't.

it was really hard for me to get over my insecurities about my body, and i was kind of surprised by how strongly i reacted when i saw some of the shots. i nearly started crying after i saw the first few frames. i tried not to be such a baby, but i was just feeling really depressed about how i looked.

when photographer hal showed us the picture he decided was the best, he explained he liked that one because of the energy between us and the shape that our bodies formed together. it had nothing to do with our individual features -- it was the totality that he was interested in.

i understood what he was saying, but i was still feeling very disappointed and depressed until i got home and chatted about it with the surfing chef. i was telling him how i thought i would have preferred to participate in one of the previous shoots such as the one that featured couples in their bathtubs since it seemed like you could see their makeup, costumes, and facial expressions more clearly (plus it seems like it would be much easier to hide the flaws that were plaguing me today). but sc explained, "no, it's not about the costumes or makeup or facial expressions. if hal just wanted to take a picture of that stuff, he'd just have you pose standing in front of a blank wall or something. his purpose is to capture that energy that exists between couples and how you can transform two individuals into one new entity." when he put it like that, i suddenly felt really bad about how bad i'd felt earlier and how i shouldn't have made such a big deal out of the fact that i had wrinkles on my neck and i should have thought more about whether we were helping hal to achieve his goals. i'm not sure how we did, so i'll let you know when i have more information about the finished product.

anyway, the lesson for today (or at least mine, anyway) is that it is not necessarily all about you. sometimes it is about you and your partner, or sometimes it is about you and the artist/director, and sometimes it is about a room full of 15 singing and dancing drunken revelers, but that's more to do with last night's wedding festivities than with today's photo shoot.

have you ever had a really negative reaction to a photo of yourself? how did you deal with it? do you find it easy to let go of your ego when working on an artistic project with someone else?

my first foray into "illustrations" (aka powerpoint is fun!)

2010-09-14T06:18:00.000-07:00

everything i need to know i learned from reality tv

2010-08-31T04:16:00.000-07:00

okay, so this is not my first time to post about my shameful addiction to reality tv. however, after watching an episode of the real world new orleans this evening, i feel like i discovered two important lessons.

lesson number one came in the form of a tough-talking woman who runs the homeless shelter where some of the real world roommates cook lunch for the less fortunate. one of the guys was telling her about how he'd gotten in a huge blow-out with one of the girls from the house (though the way the show is edited you would think this happens pretty much every day). dorleen (i believe that was her name) laid it all on the line for him: you can't always choose the people around you. there are always gonna be people you don't like. but what you can choose is the way you react to them. true dat! thank you dorleen for telling it straight.

lesson number 2: sahar, the aspiring singer from smalltown michigan had yet to perform on a stage in front of people. she got together a band, found an open mic event, and got ready for her big debut. guess what happened when she stepped on stage? she forgot all her lines! yet she didn't let it bring her down. she just said, "you know what, i just did the worst job that i could possibly do. ever. so it's only uphill from here."

yes, there are some important lessons to be learned from tonight's episode of the real world. just because the people around you are d-bags, that doesn't mean you need to stoop to their level. and sometimes screwing up utterly is the first step in a positive direction. mtv reality programs, you are the best.

new experiences

2010-07-30T17:06:00.000-07:00

i like thinking of life as an adventure, but sometimes it seems like you get stuck in a rut doing the same things over and over again. so it's kind of refreshing when you can break out of that and experience something new for the first time.

here's just a small sampling of some of my recent firsts:

* 1st trip to hawaii (yay!! i loved it!)

* 1st time as a bridesmaid

* 1st time getting stung by a jellyfish (this one was not exciting, per se, but definitely memorable)

* 1st time spinning two hoops around my head (still working on perfecting this one!!)

* 1st time having a drink at the posh park hyatt (fun, but, damn, some firsts don't come cheap!!)

what have you done for the first time recently?

2010: the year of the wedding (well for other people at least)

2010-06-28T14:38:00.001-07:00

as i sit down to write this, i am preparing to leave on a massive trip which is set to include 3 weddings in less than 2 weeks. yes, i will be attending one wedding every 4 days for the next few weeks. (i know, i have it rough, but someone has to do it, right?)

i have known for quite some time that 2010 is the year of the wedding. in addition to planning this epic and cinematic-like trip (which will include stopovers in hawaii, colorado, and california), this year, two people who are very dear to me also announced their engagement. i also wrote my first feature article for a national magazine all about weddings. oh, and my brother and his fiancée asked me to read something at their wedding (one of the aformentioned three i will be attending over the coming weeks). so it's fair to say that i've had weddings on my mind for the better part of the year.

i know that some girls dream of getting married as soon as they are old enough to play dress-up. they painstakingly plan every detail of the day in their minds, imagining what their dress will look like, where the reception will be held, and, of course, what their Prince Charming will look like as he stands waiting for them expectantly at the altar.

i have never been one of those girls. i honestly can't remember fantasizing about having a wedding. ever. it wasn't until i reached my early 20s that i met a friend who always seemed to have her eyes open for the perfect wedding venue and talked about what it would be like when she married her lawyer husband (who she hadn't met yet at this point, but somehow managed to meet – and marry, just as she predicted) that i realized that these thoughts are something that take up the mental landscape of my peers.

it's not that i'm against marriage. it's just that i haven't quite decided how i feel about it for me, personally.

i'm interested to see how i feel after my trip. will something fundamentally change in me after observing/participating in three weddings? or will i remain just as ambivalent about it as i am now?

who am i? (answer tba)

2010-05-11T22:54:00.000-07:00

for a while now, i've been kicking around the idea of having my own website. not just a semi-anonymous blog, but a real, live corner of the internet to call my very own. the main reason for wanting to branch out from blogging (which i fully intend to keep up with, for any interested parties) was so that i could have a place where i say to the world (wide webs) "hello. here i am!" and share some of my past writings and projects. if some literary agent happened to discover said writings and offer me the chance to pour my heart, soul, and bootay (a powerful triumvirate, i tell you) into a book, that would also be okay.

so this has been an idea that's been percolating for a while, but there have been various things holding me back. on the one hand, i'm a bit nervous about totally putting myself out there on the web. people can be pretty nasty out there, and it seems like the more present you are, the more of a target you can become. case in point: i was looking for some of my past articles that i knew were online somewhere, so i googled myself. unbeknownst to me, some articles that i'd written for a print publication were also included on a separate online forum, and though the article itself was hardly controversial, commenters made all sorts of attacks on me and my writing.

however, i decided to forget about the haters and focus on this new creative endeavor of making my own website. at a workshop i attended a few weeks ago, one of the speakers suggested trading talents with friends in order to make your life more enjoyable. i realized that i know some people who have pretty kick-ass websites who have also mentioned to me that they needed help in the writing/editing department, so it seemed to be a natural match. i help them with their writing/editing, and they help me design a beautiful website.

one of the unexpected hurdles i'm encountering, though, is what to actually write on my website. it's kind of silly, right? i mean, i'm a writer! writing about myself for my own website should be the easiest thing in the world, right? well, it's not! i'm not sure if it's because it feels so "high-stakes" or if it's just a weird moment that i'm going through creatively, but i'm finding it really difficult to sit down and do it. i decided to start with the easy stuff, so i compiled my list of published articles online and brief introductions for those. okay, no real problems there, but when i sat down to work out what should go in my intro, i realized, yikes! i have no idea what to say!

so, if you'll excuse me, i'll be trying to figure out the essence of myself and how to distill that into prose.

do you have your own website? how did you come up with the copy for it? do you ever struggle to define yourself?

AND

how do you deal with nasty comments from haters online?

annoying myself

2010-05-06T19:22:00.000-07:00

i've been having a frustrating past couple of days. haven't been sleeping well, haven't been able to focus on anything, and have just been feeling a bit annoyed with myself.

i've been working on an article, though i can't decide if i like the direction it's going in. i'm trying to poke fun at something in a humorous way, but i'm afraid it's coming off as being mean. it's a very fine line between being funny and just being a jerk.

so i'm just trying to take some time away from the article and come back to it fresh. hopefully this will help me determine how to proceed. i think i'm just feeling frustrated because normally this is something i love to write about, but for some reason i'm hitting a wall this time.

what do you do to get out of a funk? how do you decide if somehing is funny or just mean?

balls to the wall

2010-04-29T06:58:00.001-07:00

i'm not usually the type of person to bandy about the word "balls" but after reading an article about how flowers grow "balls out" it's hard to keep the word out of my mind. this article, a short piece on finding your passion, gave a simple exercise. first, make a list of 10 imaginary careers that you would love. second, make a list of 10 hobbies that sound fun. here are my lists. (i decided to count down because i think it's more dramatic that way. start with number 1 and it's a bit anti-climactic.)

10 imaginary careers

10. cat cuddler
9. ice cream taster
8. cool café hanger outer
7. traveler and veg food sampler
6. book reader
5. hand model
4. english sign + menu checker
3. food stylist
2. karaoke champion
1. purikura princess

now, for my list of 10 fun-sounding hobbies:

10. trampoline jumping
9. capoeira
8. aerial tissue (i think that's what that thing is called)
7. rollerblading
6. learning italian
5. bollywood-style dance
4. breakdancing
3. space-invader-style graffiti/street art
2. screenplay writing
1. pole dancing

so there you have it. it's interesting to see how many of my fun-sounding hobbies involve flight/grace/jumping/spinning. for some reason i guess i associate those activities with fun.

the next step, after identifying your desires, is to act on them and try to incorporate some of these things into your life. i'm guessing bollywood-style dance and rollerblading are probably the most likely, but who knows?

soooo, what are your lists? feel free to leave them here!

on being a fine upstanding citizen

2010-04-19T07:00:00.000-07:00

in honor of earth day, i decided to participate in a beach clean-up at kugenuma kaigan in kanagawa prefecture yesterday. it had been a while since i'd done any volunteer work/community service, but i figured spending a couple of hours on the beach would be a gentle introduction to the life of a fine upstanding citizen.

on plenty of excursions to japanese beaches i've felt disgusted by the conglomeration of debris and detritus i've encountered, but on first inspection kugenuma was actually not that dirty. however, after walking around for a bit and looking more carefully, i realized that there was a ton of trash, especially cigarette butts and shards of glass. for anyone who goes to the beach in japan -- please be careful when walking around. i seriously could not believe some of the huge chunks of glass i encountered.

all in all, i'd say it was an enlightening experience. taking a bit of time to help clean up a natural space that is enjoyed by everyone gave me a pleasant feeling of satisfaction. of course on the walk back to soleil provence, the school that sponsored the event, i saw even more trash, but unfortunately i no longer had my gloves or plastic bag handy. in the future i'd like to continue the life of an upstanding member of society. i'll let you know how it goes.

what are your plans for earth day? what type of volunteer work/community service do you do?

please enjoy relaxing time

2010-04-16T00:59:00.000-07:00

today it is cold and wet. i do not like and do not approve. no, if today's weather were running for office and i were a well-respected (or at least just highly visible) celebrity, i would not be endorsing it as a candidate, no siree. i am huddled next to my heater as i write this, despite the fact that the calendar informs me today is april 16. come on, tokyo weather, buck up!

luckily not every day is like today and there were actually a few days in the past few weeks when i could actually go out and enjoy the cherry blossoms and general springy atmosphere. i'd like to share with you some photos of my new favorite place in tokyo, happo-en garden, where i was able to enjoy a relaxing lunch break on a couple of recent occasions.

does rainy weather make you cranky? where have you been spending your lunches lately?

you know you've hit the bigtime when...

2010-04-08T17:56:00.000-07:00

you have a hula hoop created in your color scheme and named after you and you are then invited to take place in a photo shoot to promote said hoop.

this was one of those life landmarks that i didn't even realize existed until it happened to me, but it was an extremely pleasant, inspiring, and exhilarating one. i've written about the entire experience at length for a soon-to-be-published account on d's blog, so keep your eyes peeled for a glitter, tassle, and piss (yes, you read that correctly)-filled account of the photo shoot.

d asked me to come up with 5 adjectives that describe trixie maru (my alter ego and the name of the hoop you see above), but told me not to think of it too carefully, just to say whatever came to mind. i'm sure these words tell you oodles about my sub-conscious (in addition to the fact that i can't count to five since i chose six), but anyway: zesty, zany, whimsical, fun, flirty, and playful

check out the photos here.

***UPDATE*** find the post on d's blog here.

enlightening encounters with the youth of today

2010-03-31T04:56:00.000-07:00

this morning, seeing as i had a bit of free time and it was a nice(ish) day, i decided to go out and do some much-needed hooping. i figured between 9-10 i would be early enough to miss the preschool contingent and should pretty much have the park to myself.

when i first got there, i was pleasantly surprised to see the cherry blossoms in full bloom, making the trees appear like pink fluffy clouds above me. what a perfect start to my first outdoor hoop this year, i thought. i proceeded to warm up and do my thing. i was well into the dance/practicing my tricks portion of the session when a large group (let's say 20-25) of international youth appeared. i'm not sure how old they were, but let's say probably in the 13-16 age bracket. oh no, i thought, i'm about to get all sorts of rude comments and stares. i tried to ignore them and continued doing my thing, when after a couple of minutes a group of them approached me, wanting to know if they could have their picture taken with me. what?! they didn't want to call me names or make fun of what i was doing, they just wanted to snap a few photos??

i chatted with them for a few minutes and let some of the guys try out the hoop (the girls were all too shy to try). they were polite and well-mannered and told me they were on a hanami excursion for their japanese class. "ii na~" i was thinking (they're so lucky). i remember as a high school student we had tried unsucessfully to hold our classes outdoors on nice days, but even our most lenient teacher would never agree to it.

spending just a few minutes with a group of teenagers was also totally weird. i mean, of course it was great that they were pleasant and amiable, but it also made me feel really... old. in my day-to-day life, i think of myself as pretty energetic and youthful (i mean, i was hula hooping, for crying out loud), but i suddenly realized -- hey, i'm not a teenager anymore. those years are way behind me. it was a strange realization.

how do you feel after spending time with teenagers? do you feel aware of your age all the time or just when you're around people in a different bracket?

social ineptitude

2010-03-30T04:15:00.000-07:00

most people who have met me pj (post-japan) are surprised to hear that i describe myself as inherently shy. back in the old days (say high school and college), i had a hard time coming out of my shell. i didn't speak up much in class, didn't ask questions in seminars, and didn't strike up conversations with strangers.

all that changed, though, once i moved to japan. the first job i had here was working as an english teacher. not just any type of english teacher, mind you, but a conversational english teacher. funny that it never struck me as odd that i might not be the best qualified person on the subject. although i had all sorts of frustrations and disappointments in this arena (i could probably fill an entire blog with the subject), as i was teaching, something interesting began to happen. because i had to make conversation all day long with people of all ages and varying backgrounds, i began to realize that it wasn't so hard. i discovered that i did have the ability to chat with strangers, drawing out information until the conversation became somewhat interesting (at least from my perspective).

when i returned to the us, i was terrified of losing this newfound confidence, but to my surprise i found that i still possessed it. when i went to england, though i had to adjust the rules slightly so as not to offend people with my direct questions, i had a blast at grad school meeting all sorts of people in very unusual situations. one of my favorite examples is the guy who i met in the street and spoke to for an hour!

so yes, for the most part i've overcome my shyness, but every once in a while i feel it bubble up uncontrollably. picture this, if you will: i am walking in my neighborhood and i see someone i know (one of my former coworkers or classmates, for example). 9 cases out of 10, i will hide from the person in question rather than go up and say hello. why do i do that? i don't know, but i can't help it.

i sometimes think i overcompensate for my shyness by talking too much. this happened over the weekend, when i found myself at an event sitting with a table of strangers. somehow the conversation at our table started as sort of a table-wide discussion and then it seemed to devolve into me just talking about myself. that was definitely not how i wanted things to go down, and i felt really awful and uncomfortable about it afterwards. but the old me would probably have sat there silently and kicked herself about it after. i honestly don't know which one is better.

do you consider yourself to be shy? had any "kick-yourself" moments recently because of a less-than-ideal social interaction?

on the plus side...

2010-03-25T19:16:00.000-07:00

i'm going to disneysea today!

on the minus side, it's friggin' freezing.

on the plus side, it's not raining and my apartment is usually a good 10 degrees colder than the outdoor temperature.

on the minus side, i drank a bit too much home-made chai today and am feeling a little jittery as a result.

on the plus side, my recipe is improving and my chai tasted better today than any other time i've made it so far. until now, i haven't been letting the spices steep for long enough, which leads to a watery and flavorless beverage, which just won't do.

i'll report back later if anything of note transpires at disneysea.

what are your pluses and minuses today?

qu'est-ce que le point?

2010-03-25T05:40:00.000-07:00

hmm... feeling a bit down on myself today. ever get that way? i had to interview someone, which is an interesting activity that i usually enjoy, but i ended up feeling very self-conscious and annoyed with myself. a pretty impressive feat, too, considering i only asked about 5 questions in an hour. on the one hand, it was great that my subject was talkative and able to go on without much prompting, but i got the distinct feeling that i got off on the wrong foot. there's a chance i'm totally wrong, but even if i'm right, it shouldn't really matter what this person thought of me personally since the whole point is for me to find out what i can about the subject and then write about the person in a meaningful way. i understand this in my mind, but i still don't like feeling like i've made a bad impression. call it a stupid american need to be liked by everyone!

what i've written so far may or may not make sense, so i'll just give an example. to start off the interview, i wanted to hear about the person's LBJ (life before japan). when i asked this, the subject responded by saying, "didn't they send you any information on me?" yes, i had received information (and had read it, thank you very much), but my purposes in asking the question were 1) to break the ice; 2) to expand upon the basic facts that i already had; and 3) to see if there were any glaring omissions in the info i'd received. but since we only had an hour for the entire interview, i didn't want to waste time justifying my question, so my response was kind of a stuttered mess. this is also frustrating when i'm a writer and words are supposed to be my medium. ho hum. it's all a learning experience i guess.

what do you do when you get off on the wrong foot with someone? do you feel a compulsive need to be liked by everyone? what do you think constitutes a stupid interview question?

the title of this post, by the way, comes from one of my favorite literary characters (someone i feel i can truly related to), georgia nicholson from the angus, thongs, and perfect snogging series.

can there be art? why yes, yes there can!

2010-03-24T05:44:00.000-07:00

i went to the mori art museum the other day for the grand opening of their newest exhibit, the roppongi crossing triennial. this year's installment is called "can there be art?" and it features an amazing group of contemporary japanese artists. i was lucky enough to visit this exhibit 6 years ago, way back when i lived in kyoto and just came up to tokyo for a visit. i remember it being an interesting conglomeration of artists, so i was looking forward to seeing another collection.

for me, there were a few stand-out pieces in the collection (though on the whole i would say it was fantastic). i really enjoyed the installation by amemiya yosuke. basically, there's a small doorway leading to a darkened room that's strewn with all sorts of random bits and bobs. one wall is taken over by a screen, on which you see a projection of the same room with the artist doing various things (like picking up an apple and throwing it, or taking a big paper sack and putting it over his body and wiggling around). at the same time, the artist is actually in the room with you, doing those same types of things (although not in tandem with the projection). then, at one point, he stops doing his wacky artist bit and comes and stands with the rest of the spectators. i loved this moment. i felt an instant understanding that he was trying to show us that he was as much a spectator as an artist, and we were as much artists/participants in his work as we were spectators. incredible!

another work that i particularly enjoyed was the performance by a group called contact gonzo. this quartet intrigued me when i saw them wandering around initially. they have a certain air about them, some sort of cocky confidence, perhaps. i happened to stumble into the room just before they began their show, and it was pretty funny to watch. at first, they were doing a bunch of stretching, and strutting, and carefully removing all the items from their pockets, and this seemed to go on for quite some time. then, all of the sudden, it began. they circled each other menacingly until they gradually began to bump into each other, each contact escalating until they were actually slapping, kicking, and jumping on each other. their performance walked a very fine line between violence and dance, somewhat like capoeira (though capoeira is much more beautiful to behold, it has to be said). at first i was thinking to myself -- there's no way these people can be dancers -- they're not graceful at all. yet once they started, there was a certain grace to their movements, especially when they jumped or balanced on each other. and even though at times it was a bit dicey (one guy's shirt got ripped in half), and they almost bowled over members of the audience one or two times, the entire piece managed to remain calm and controlled.

for anyone living in tokyo, i highly recommend checking out this exhibit. perhaps on saturday, march 28, when the museum will be open all night until 6am? should be fun!

have you seen any interesting exhibits recently? what was the last piece of art that made an impact on you?

101!!!!

2010-03-19T06:08:00.000-07:00

somehow i got to 100 posts and didn't realize it, so i'd like to celebrate my 101st post by making a list of 101 things i love, in no particular order.

1. spoonerisms (when you swap the first letters of two words -- in high school i used to love thinking of these instead of doing geometry. my all-time favorite "i'd rather be rude and neckless than nude and reckless.")

2. that satisfying click you get when you twist open the pump on a container of hand soap.

3. the smell of fresh jasmine. i've yet to find an artificial version that comes anywhere near the original.

4. taking a cold shower on a hot summer evening.

5. finding a typo in a book or magazine.

6. walking along kamogawa in kyoto and the amusing profession of pastimes you can see -- from cheerleaders to tuba players.

7. big, fat mission-style burritos in san francisco.

8. making a to-do list and crossing things off as they get done.

9. giving people compliments.

10. reading trashy gossip magazines in the bookstore without paying for them (cheap and low-brow, that's me i guess)

11. the color purple.

12. my family.

13. talking smack about french people. i'm sorry, i do love france, but sometimes it's so satisfying to talk about some of my negative experiences there.

14. saying "i will snap you like a twig" in a fake french accent. i have no idea where this came from, but it cracks me up.

15. a glass that i bought in japan. it has cookie monster on it and it says "cookie monster is physically, mentally, and spiritually connected to the chocolate chip cookie." yep, that pretty much sums up my feelings, too.

16. any sort of engrish. i saw a sign earlier today that made me smile. it was warning about the disinfectant that was being provided and it said you shouldn't use it "if you are under a doctor." i thought to myself, well, if you are under a doctor as you're reading this sign, your problems are greater than not being able to use disinfectant, my friend.

17. the phrase "cold as balls." one of my friends used to say it all the time, and though it makes no sense, it is too funny not to use.

18. hearing the words "you look pretty today."

19. not going somewhere for a long time, and then having my memory correspond perfectly to the present reality.

20. making fun of my high school teachers. i don't know if this was the same for everyone, but i feel like i had some truly wacky teachers. one of my favorites, the ancient mr. p, used to scold us constantly, "you're not writing this down! you're not taking enough notes!" even if he was talking about something utterly unrelated to english literature.

21. the phrase "going to hell in a handbasket."

22. irreverence.

23. the idea that you can make your life about whatever you want it to be about and surround yourself with the people you want to be surrounded with.

24. being told "you look much younger than your age." someone told me this a few weeks ago and it made me smile for a week! (yes, i know things like this shouldn't matter, but i'm trying not to get down on myself in the middle of my happiness post)

25. memories of the beginning of relationships when everything was fresh and new and full of excitement.

26. wandering around the back streets of harajuku/omotesando.

27. experimenting in the kitchen and having unexpected success.

28. finding just the word or phrase i'm looking for.

29. sorting out a mis-communication between two people.

30. making up silly songs.

31. making up silly dances.

32. saying something unintentionally funny in a foreign language.

33. karaoke.

34. purikura.

35. having the feeling that something great is just around the corner.

36. hugs.

37. kitties.

38. shiba dogs.

39. introducing people and have them become friends/ a couple / get a job as a result.

40. meeting someone who's close to a close friend for the first time and having them say, "i feel like i already know you."

41. vending machines.

42. chai.

43. frozen chai banana smoothies!

44. talking in a funny dracula voice.

45. saying "crab on a crab cracker" or "crap on a crap cracker" (sometimes it's hard to tell the difference).

46. long walks.

47. going for a stroll on a hot summer night.

48. dance remixes of pop songs.

49. singing along to 80's songs really loudly.

50. singing along to any cheesy song really loudly.

51. remembering all the words to a song even if i haven't heard it for a few years.

52. ice cream.

53. tea time.

54. british slang.

55. the most british sentence of all time: "blimey mum, we'll be queueing up for ages!"

56. being told i have a good accent when i speak a foreign language.

57. scottish accents.

58. kilts.

59. japanese guys wearing yukata -- hot!!

60. hearing a friend speaking a foreign language and understanding them just because i'm used to the way they speak english.

61. staying out dancing until it's light out.

62. falling asleep on the train.

63. sparkly, glittery things.

64. calling a friend up just to chat.

65. hot chocolate.

66. plum blossoms.

67. going to see a temple at night when it's lit up.

68. going on a bike ride with someone, especially if the terrain is all flat.

69. getting a letter in the mail.

70. sitting down to write a letter and feeling so close to the person i'm writing to.

71. hot yoga.

72. hooping!!!

73. house music.

74. kaskade!!!

75. discovering a new restaurant/café/neighborhood

76. raw food.

77. water lilies.

78. lotus blossoms.

79. cherry blossoms.

80. not getting caught in the rain.

81. chu-hi, especially the seasonal flavors like cherry blossom and strawberry.

82. picnics.

83. convenience stores, especially natural lawson!!

84. reading books by david sedaris.

85. imagining that one day my books will have a similar effect on people.

86. remembering all my dreams from my childhood and not feeling embarrassed by them.

87. genuinely thanking someone when they've done a good job or gone out of their way to help me.

88. watching dogs play on the beach -- i love seeing that pure, unbridled happiness.

89. remembering an old joke and then walking along with a stupid grin on my face for a few minutes.

90. hearing the words "it's great to see you again."

91. giggling.

92. finding humor in the smallest little thing (thanks mom, for teaching me how to do that).

93. wearing sandals. my feet love to be free!

94. going to the beach.

95. hitting all green lights on the walk to the station.

96. not needing a car.

97. disneyland.

98. hearing "carmen" on the moog from "everything you always wanted to hear on the moog but were afraid to ask."

99. seeing a movie/art exhibit/reading a book that really changes the way i think.

100. cupcakes.

101. writing!!!

what's making you happy these days?

thanks for reading and i can't wait to see what comes up in the next 101 posts!

goodies from the kitchen

2010-03-16T21:48:00.001-07:00

i've been having fun with vegan and raw-ish recipes recently, especially since discovering love veggies and yoga.

first there were the raw cookie dough balls:

okay, so these aren't technically raw because i just used regular old chocolate chips, but they're definitely super-easy. you can find the recipe here. the chocolate chip ones were superb, but i also tried again (and again) adding a teensy bit of salt, cinnamon, and raisins. yes, indeed, those are a fantastic treat.

next up was a raw-ish apple crisp. this little puppy has almonds, oats, agave, cinnamon, apple, brown sugar, more agave, more almonds, more brown sugar and cinnamon, and, oh, did i mention agave?

this is another love veggies and yoga find. find out all the deets here. this was tasty, but über-sweet. i'm sure it varies a lot depending on what type of apple you use. now i'm buzzing from all that sugar. maybe i can get some productive writing done instead of farting around on the internet? we'll see...

what have you been up to in the kitchen recently? have any new (or new-to-you) recipes you want to share?

freelancing in tokyo

2010-03-14T18:27:00.000-07:00

a few weeks ago, i attended a book reading by a man named david chester who has written a book called freelancing in tokyo. originally a musician, mr. chester discovered that in tokyo there was no need to limit himself to just music, and quickly developed an impressive array of jobs, ranging from tap-dancing priest in a tv commercial to voice actor to writer for the japan times. listening to him speak was really inspiring for someone like me who is trying to venture down the freelance route.

in my time in japan, i've done a few random jobs here and there. these unusual jobs range from being an extra on a few japanese tv shows to doing voice recording for text books to co-hosting a video podcast to chatting with people on skype to help them improve their english conversation. until now, i've never really actively pursued any of these jobs -- they've just sort of appeared out of nowhere. however, after hearing mr. chester speak and reading his book, i've realized that there's no reason i can't pursue some of these other activities more intensely.

something quite unusual happened. i had literally just heard mr. chester's talk on a sunday night and was feeling inspired to action, and on the very next day, i was contacted and asked to do some video pronunciation work. as a result of that job, there's a very good chance that i'll be working on another new project, but until i know the details, i'll leave it at that. just watch out world, cause here i come!

what has been your experience with freelance work? what's the most unusual freelance job you've ever done?

things i'm looking forward to

2010-03-09T17:47:00.000-08:00

* cherry blossom season -- this magical time of year should be here in a few weeks. i would love to go to kyoto to visit some of my favorite hanami spots but i'm not sure if the budget is allowing for such things this year. no matter what it will be fun to spend more time outside. i'm sure i'll make it to yoyogi park and nakameguro and hope i have the chance to go somewhere new.

* perfecting my chai recipe. for the past few years i've been going around town investigating all the chai options, but i still think sc's homemade version is the best. i try to replicate it but haven't quite gotten it down yet. he uses whole cardamom and cloves, cinnamon sticks, and black tea mixed with natural sugar and soy milk. i like to add fresh ginger, too, but haven't managed to achieve the perfect balance of flavors yet.

* going to the hoop jam tomorrow at superdeluxe. it's been forever since i've hung out with the tokyo hoop crew and danced, so it will be a great evening.

* attending the white day raw vegan sweets party at manna this saturday night. andi and angi's desserts are soooooo good, so i can't wait to sample everything they have on offer.

* opening the big package i just got from my parents. it should have all sorts of goodies inside.

what are you looking forward to?

pep talk

2010-03-05T06:31:00.000-08:00

a few days ago, my surfing chef came home in a dark mood. though he wouldn't admit exactly what had happened to him at work that day, he started saying how he has no sense for food and he should probably just quit being a chef. hearing him so depressed, i knew that the only thing i could possibly say was what i tell myself when i'm feeling that way.

think of it what you will (i know it's not very japanese to speak so directly), but for the most part, i like what i write and i believe i have talent. however, sometimes i get a niggling sense of self-doubt. i start to wonder if it's all in my head and i'm actually not that gifted of a writer after all. i begin to question whether or not i have any right (or possibility) of making my living this way. but once i start down this road, i always bring myself to an abrupt halt by thinking of things in this light: first of all, i am incredibly lucky to have found something that i enjoy doing and that i can actually get paid (although sometimes just a nominal amount) to do. there are so many people in this world who give up on this idea and just do something that pays the bills without feeling any connection or inspiration from their work. plus, the only thing we really have in this world is our belief in ourselves. if we doubt our own talents, the only person we're really hurting is ourselves.

so i continue to write, striving for the day when i receive the type of recognition or compensation i know i am worthy of.

although it was difficult for me to explain all this in japanese, i tried, and it seemed to work. the surfing chef started to smile and his dark mood began to fade away.

do you ever give yourself pep talks? what do you say?

some random thoughts

2010-03-02T17:51:00.000-08:00

this is something i wrote when i was at hoop camp way back in october. i just discovered the little notebook and thought i should share my little moment with the big world out there...

poised with the pen ready but not ready not sure what i want to say but there's something, cosmic energy swirling, twin stars burning, how can you not feel it?

i am energy radiating out in every direction. what does it look like? i don't know but i can feel this roller coaster, giddy with excitement, rife with self-doubt and insecurity, trying to remember and find my place. it's hard to say exactly where that is but we seem to be moving closer somehow to the me i want to be. could make a list – and sometimes have – of the things i dislike about myself, but why do that? isn't it better to think about who i want to be and work toward that?

some ideas for the future to marinate, cogitate, and refrigerate (not really but i'm a sucker for rhyme):

want to find a way to do more hoop-path style hooping. love the flow, the delightful spiraling of energy outwards and inwards – also like the stalls and stops and starts. not so much stops and starts, but reversals, gently guiding the hoop, "paddling" looks so graceful, striving for grace and beauty appeals to me, but so does funky fun, alter-egos, and non-stop showmanship. want to write more but being attacked by bugs so hold that thought for now.

new beginnings and new veggie restaurants in tokyo!!

2010-02-28T16:01:00.000-08:00

this weekend was an exciting few days full on new beginnings!! to start off, my partner-in-crime, the surfing chef, has now become an uncle! that's right, his big brother and his wife just had their first baby, kaho-chan. we went to the hospital to see her yesterday, and although i've never really been one for baby fever, she was so tiny and adorable it was hard not to fall in love with her right then and there.

anyway, in addition to new life, there are also a few new restaurants that just opened up (yay!! maybe the economy is on the way back up again??).

on friday night, we made the long-ish (for us, anyway) trek to koenji to meu nota for its opening night. unfortunately i didn't take any photos (bad blogger! no cookie for me!) so you'll just have to believe me when i say that everything was beautifully presented and oh-so-scrumptious. we had hummus and homemade pita, oven-baked gnocchi with creamy soy milk sauce, veggie and grain salad, veggie taco rice, strawberry tart, and raisin walnut gâteau chocolat. the place is on the small side, with space for about 20 people or so, and full of funny little touches like fake cherries in a glass and small hand-held chalkboards that menus are taped onto. if you live in tokyo, go check it out and let me know what you think!! here's the info: meu nota, koenji 3-45-11, suginami-ku, tokyo, (it's just across the street from seiyu at the south exit of koenji, on the second floor), tel: 03.5929.9422, http://meunota.cafe.coocan.jp/

open 12pm-11:30pm (last order 11pm)

the second place we visited was hoquba, a new curry and vegan sweets café near umegaoka station. this little place is also run by a former eat more greens employee. the menu is much more narrow in scope than meu nota, featuring a few types of curry and a few sweet treats (i got the parfait -- a cute little cup full of coconut cream, fresh fruit, and chocolate cake). it's definitely got that café vibe. i was tempted by the soy chili cocoa, but wanted some caffeine so i got the soy chai instead. can i just say "yum"? definitely one of the best chais i've had in this city!

hoquba, 5-minute walk from gotokuji or 7-minute walk from umegaoka on the odakyu line, akatsutsumi 2-17-9, setagaya-ku, tokyo, tel: 03.6670.0708, www.hoquba.com

open tuesday-sunday 11am-10pm, closed monday

lost people

2010-02-25T17:48:00.000-08:00

when i was growing up, i moved around every few years, so i got pretty used to leaving people behind and saying goodbye. i don't mean that i was cold and detached, but i'd pretty much come to accept it as part of life that i would eventually move on to another place at some point. however, one of the strange side-effects of this lifestyle was that i didn't really get to stick around long enough to see what happens to friendships and relationships if no one goes anywhere. most of my romantic relationships have ended because i left the premises, not necessarily because i (or the other person involved) wanted them to. and friendships, well, some of them are easier to maintain long-distance than others, so some friends have stayed very close and very present in my life while others have faded a bit more into the background.

taking all this into consideration, i have a very hard time coming to terms with former friends who still live in the same place but who are not longer part of my life. there are a few people like this, who, as i write this, are going about their lives in the same city, but we haven't seen each other or spoken for at least six months. one friend and i had a falling out of sorts, and i kept waiting for an apology that never came. basically, this person let me down. i thought perhaps it had been unintentional, but when i brought it to the individual's attention, nothing happened. no apology, no acknowledgement of my hurt feelings, nothing. i wasn't trying to be stubborn, but i feel like i can't have room in my life for people who can't respect my feelings. i'm torn, though, because this person was such a bright star in my life that i often wish we were still in contact. similarly, another friend i'd considered an amazing rock of strength and support just left the country without even saying goodbye. i knew this person had been planning to leave, but thought i would be informed beforehand so we could at least say goodbye in person. no dice. then, just as whimsically, this person returned without telling me. i kept trying to think of what i might have done to be cut out of this person's life, but couldn't come up with anything. so i actually sent an email asking if i had done something to upset the person in question, but the answer was "no, of course you didn't do anything to upset me." but we haven't seen each other since then.

i try not to dwell on these things, because it makes more sense to focus on the positive people you do have in your life rather than pine for the people you have "lost," but it's so mysterious to me.

do other people have similar experiences? have you ever "broken up" with a friend? which side of the equation were you on? did you try to fight for the friendship or just let it go?

spring!!!

2010-02-23T20:32:00.000-08:00

spring has sprung!! well, that's what i'm choosing to believe, anyway! it's so sunny and warm today, the plum blossoms are blooming, and the sweet daphne is also starting to bloom, which means that every once in a while as i'm walking along i get to stop and smell that amazing fragrance. it's kind of piquant, slightly lemon-y (which is weird, since i don't usually like that smell, but somehow it works), and of course, sweet. there's something about good smells that is just so magical. it just seems that a lot of times in the world the balance of smells is out of whack, so you often get pummeled with intensely bad aromas, but rarely serenaded by something sweet.

question: has spring really sprung or is it just wishful thinking? and what's your favorite smell?

back from the abyss!!

2010-02-21T21:13:00.000-08:00

i know i've been away for a while. i've been trying to figure out what i wanted to say. i think i was hoping for some sort of epiphany, but it hasn't quite happened like that. i've been silently reading other people's blogs and thinking about what it is that makes them compelling. it's not always about living a highly glamorous life. sometimes it's just the fact that they take the time to sit down and record every day. i don't like to set goals for myself that i don't think are possible, so i'll just aim for writing more regular posts.

these past few months have been interesting (for lack of a better word). i've been back in japan since july. i decided to do things differently this time around. after several not-so-positive experiences of working for someone else, i decided that i wanted to give it a go as a freelance writer-editor. so far, i've discovered that it's very hard to make a living this way. i haven't had too much trouble lining up smallish projects, but getting a steady stream of high-paying work is something that has not yet materialized. sometimes i freak out because i don't have the disposable income that i was used to having. this has been a big adjustment, especially with regards to socializing. i really hate having to say no or not invite people to go out just because i'm worried about whether i can afford to do so. on the other hand, i've really enjoyed not working for just one person. it's a relief to have more control over my schedule and workload, and to be able to approach my workplaces with more objectivity. in the past, it's been hard for me to separate my work self from my "regular" self, and now i feel like it's a bit easier to maintain that separation.

within the next few months, i'm hoping to do the following: become more proactive about writing (come up with lots of ideas and contact editors about them); start writing for new publications; complete my book proposal. wish me luck!!

question: what projects are you working on at the moment? what do you do when you're feeling uninspired?

putting it out there...

2009-10-29T06:39:00.000-07:00

think of it what you will, but i've decided to create a vision board with my dreams/goals/hopes for the future. here's what it's got on it:

* write

* publish

* succeed

* confidence

* yen

* winning combination

* make a delicious change

* winner's circle

* art & culture

* dance

* dream big

* keep going

* make a day's work look like a breeze

* top job

* smarter

* creative

* memoirs

* books

* travel

* london

* paris

* san francisco

* new york

* hawaii

* CALIENTE!!

* VIP

* Kyoto!

* Tokyo

* made for TV

* style

* adding sparkle

* sexy sparkle

* gorgeous

* glitter

* make friends

* celebration

* thankful

* sweetheart

* love

* a whole lot of smiles

* never stop laughing

* improve your overall japanese ability

i love how the last one is so practical and prosaic (but still a valid goal!!) let's see how well i do at achieving them!

delicious discovery

2009-09-24T06:13:00.000-07:00

i've had the amazing 2007-2008 vegan restaurant pocketguide since, well, 2007, but i have yet to visit all of the lovely places contained within. for some reason i had always skipped past saishoku kenbi's entry, though i'm not sure why. was it because it was in shin-okubo, an area of tokyo i don't normally frequent? whatever the reason, rest assured that as of today, this adorable little spot is certainly on my radar, and should be on yours, too.

tucked away inside some temple grounds off the main drag of okubo-dori, in the heart of tokyo's korea town, saishoku kenbi offers a stellar lunch deal. for only 1,350 yen, you get 90 minutes of pure deliciousness. since today was my first visit (but certainly won't be the last), i can't say for sure what the normal line-up is, but today's selection was most impressive. fresh salad fixins, veggie meat versions of everything from tuna to bacon-accented pasta to korean "kalbi" spicy beef, plus multi-grain rice and miso soup. my personal favorites were the soy "chicken" salad, gyoza, and soy milk "cream" croquettes.

my only one small complaint about the whole experience is that i happened to go to the bathroom near the 90-minute mark, and the staff reportedly came by the table and scolded my dining companion for overstaying our welcome. sheesh -- at that stage neither of us was taking anything more from the buffet. i think special allowances should be made for bathroom breaks! however, all in all it was a great meal and i'd definitely recommend it to anyone looking for some fun veggie foods that are hard to come by in japan.

saishoku kenbi, 2-21-6 hyakunin-cho, shinjuku-ku, tokyo, tel: 03.5332.3627, www.daisho-kikaku.com, nearest station: shin-okubo or okubo, open 11:30-2:30 every day except tue.

garden parties

2009-09-22T06:41:00.001-07:00

recently, i've found myself spending the majority of my free time in gardens. it's probably a combination of factors -- having a couple of hours to spare here and there, some stellar weather, and the need to inject some tranquility (if such a thing can be done) into my life. having visitors from out of town also inspires me to show off the things i love best about japan, and the jaw-dropping beauty of the gardens here ranks pretty high on my list. so, without further ado, here are some scenes from the past few garden-filled weeks.

part 1: the cool guy/girl series from koishikawa korakuen gardens (note tokyo dome in the background)

part 2: the extreme green scene from shinjuku gyoen (as a side note, so sad to say that the wonderful fruit/vegetable juice bar nearby -- piman -- seems to have closed. this is unfortunate for tokyo.)

love, love, LOVE the weeping willows over water. one of the most beautiful sights ever, as far as i'm concerned.

part 3: oh heian shrine garden, you are my favorite place on earth, even when you are overrun by hundreds of tourists. i love your brilliant pink water lilies that i was lucky enough to catch in bloom:

and the unexpected pattern the bamboo leaves on your clean-brushed gravel paths (yes, that is my head in the lower right corner).

finally: delightful arisugawa koen on a sunny september sunday. pure bliss.

kagurazaka adventures

2009-08-06T06:58:00.001-07:00

today i had a few hours between classes, and since i started the day out in ichigaya, i decided to head to nearby kagurazaka to check it out. i'd never been there, though hearing that it was kind of a french quartier intrigued me. i don't know if i just chose the wrong place to be, but i didn't really have any run-ins with frenchies, not even at le bretagne, the creperie where i had lunch. however, despite the lack of gallic influence, i still thought the neighborhood was charming and i'm happy i decided to check it out. i love the fact that i can still be a tourist in a city i've lived in for nearly 4 years.

here are some of the highlights of my day.

1. my beautiful multi-colored salad at lunch

2. do you know what is grilled pork leg?

3. the terrace at saryo, my new favorite tea and sweet shop

4. cream anmitsu -- weird + wonderful

5. temple with chinese style gate

and in case the photos don't do the day justice, here is my gratitude-style take on my time in kagurazaka.

* yummy galette and iced apple tea at le bretagne (not pictured)

* finding some cool and funky shops

* talking with a guy in a shop about france v. usa, american cultural imperialism, being vegetarian, etc. afterwards i felt proud that the whole exchange took place in japanese since years ago i wouldn't have been able to do that. progress!!

* saryo teahouse. i love the clean lines and bamboo. the anmitsu was also really weird, but good.

overflowing with things to be thankful for

2009-08-03T07:59:00.000-07:00

it's funny how once you start taking stock of all the things you are grateful for, they just seem to keep increasing day by day. when i first started keeping a gratitude journal. when was that? oh, that's right, less than a week ago. way back then, i was feeling grumpy, cranky, lethargic, and frustrated. now it's only been a few days, but i already feel like there are so many things to be thankful for and i'm motivated to do a lot of different things. i can't wait to see how i feel at the end of the month, and not just because i'm going to be ripped from working out so much!! ;)

today i am grateful for:

* watermelon smoothie (mixing it up!)

* relatively easy commute

* nice students

* yummy lunch

* nice guy at ward office who waived my late fee

* volunteer interpreter who helped explain ward tax

* hayato for bringing home cookies and having time to hang out

* voice recording gig and potential for more work

* amazing hoop session

* my brain for switching gears and going to the other side

* my body for supporting me and moving in a way that feels incredibly amazing

* d for making her inspirational video and her dedication to making hbc an amazing and transformative experience

thank you!!!

what are you grateful for today?

embarrassing secret

2009-08-01T07:33:00.000-07:00

okay, so i have an embarrassing secret. the first part is that i am hopelessly, shamefully addicted to reality tv shows. and not just the "good ones" like project runway or top chef (although i adore both of those!). i like the really, really trashy ones, like paris hilton's my new bff, the bachelor, and the hills. (idgie, i know you're with me here!!!)

i mean, seriously. in my brain, i know that these are hardly a reflection of reality, and that the contestants are often chosen specifically for their bodacious bodies and controversial characters, and that even if the events portrayed "really" happened, they have been manipulated and edited for maximum effect. but i can't stop watching them!!!

the second part of this embarrassing fact is that i can't help but imagine myself in these various situations (obviously this is a bit easier for the shows where being a contestant doesn't actually require any talent), and wonder if i would do better than any of these people. on the one hand, i like to think of myself as a pretty reasonable, normal individual, and i try not to pick fights with people for no reason, but on the other hand, those are the kinds of traits that will get you nowhere in reality television. really, it's not necessarily about liking someone and thinking that they're a good person, it's about observing how personalities clash and how people deal with confrontation.

since most of my defining characteristics (at least as well as i understand them) are based on avoiding confrontation and fights, i suppose that i would make for a really boring contestant. but who knows? maybe with the cameras there, my personality would totally transform and i would become one of those people you love to hate.

in a moment of weakness i did actually look at mtv's casting page, but (un?) fortunately, i've already surpassed the maximum age for participants, so i suppose this is a dream i'll have to continue to keep in the unattainable category... at least for now.

another day of gratitude

2009-07-30T06:12:00.000-07:00

today i am grateful for:

* hayato and the delicious lunch he made

* living a life in which i was able to have a real childhood, surrounded by love and support

* seeing the world press photo exhibit to make me aware of the intense suffering, beauty, and humor in this world

* frozen peach banana pineapple smoothie

* having a few hours of work to give my day purpose and structure

* cool breeze on a hot summer evening

and i'm adding one new one just as i'm typing these up:

* tiger balm for itchy mosquito bites

thank you!!!

what is everyone else grateful for?

gratitude, part deux

2009-07-29T06:56:00.000-07:00

i am reposting my gratitude from the hooplovers hangout. from chatting with d, it seems that a number of us are experimenting a mid-summer slump. why is that? i know in my situation it's a combination of having "too much" time on my hands and limited finances, which means a lot of time at home. i've always been the kind of person who hated staying at home all day and thrives on going out and doing things. i remember when one of my friends came to visit me here, one day when i was at work she had been planning on going out and doing something, but she said she got to the subway station, starting walking in, and just said to herself, "no." the idea of dealing with tokyo did not appeal to her on that particular day. for me, it's the opposite. i've reached that stage where i want to say "no" to staying at home and just get out there and do stuff, but unfortunately most of the things i want to do revolve around spending money. anyway, i'll be working a lot more starting next week, so hopefully these feelings will be replaced by something different.

in the meantime...

D and I talked about this tonight, but there seems to be something in the air at the moment. Yesterday I was feeling so frustrated/down in the dumps/lethargic, and having the task of thinking of things I was grateful for helped me to refocus some of that negativity. Today, in the middle of the day, I started making my list and there was something really reassuring about knowing that it wasn't finished yet and I would continue to add more things to it as the day went on. I'm really curious to see the long-term effects of embarking on this project. Today I am grateful for: *making progress on a writing assignment *getting the go-ahead for a new article in Metropolis *getting off my bootay and hooping *chatting with D and letting off steam *the postcard from my friend Marian inviting me to her wedding *walking outside from the station to my place (I just love that walk) *no rain, again (yay!) *no cockroach sightings (yet) Thank you!!!

gratitude

2009-07-28T04:38:00.000-07:00

as part of hoop boot camp, d is suggesting that we keep gratitude journals to help us maintain a positive outlook on life. it seems like it's a pretty minimal effort with some potentially huge rewards, so why not try it out?

so, without further ado, here is my first entry in what will be a month of gratitude-filled thoughts.

today i am grateful for:

the warm weather

not getting rained on too heavily

getting work for this week (and next week!)

kind and supportive emails from friends

going for a walk on a warm summer's night

getting started on 2 writing projects

starting the day off with a smoothie.

***

what are you grateful for today? i wonder what tomorrow's list will look like...

japanese guys vs. western guys

2009-07-20T23:09:00.000-07:00

okay, so d and i were talking the other night about dating japanese guys and some of the differences we've observed. people ask all the time about what it's like being a western woman dating a japanese guy, and for the most part i think it's pretty much the same as dating anyone else, although i hate it when people give that kind of answer. you really want juicy tidbits, right? okay, well here are a few.

appearance

japanese guys take a lot more care of their appearance than any of the western guys i've dated. they trim and pluck their eyebrows, keep their beards and facial hair (if they have any) under an iron-fist-like regime of shaping and shaving, and love shopping and getting new clothing. this can be a little disconcerting to the uninitiated, although these days the word "metrosexual" has become a household name, so perhaps it's not as frightening as it used to be.

personally, this is one of my favorite things about japanese guys, and one of the reasons why i find them so attractive. call me superficial, but i like a man who takes pride in his appearance. it's not so much about spending hours admiring oneself in the mirror (although there are probably a fair number of people -- male and female -- who do just that), but more about taking the time to look nice in order to project a positive image and show your respect for the person you are with and the place where you are going.

here's a little anecdote to illustrate my point. one of my friends in kyoto had been working as a hostess and didn't have time to properly do her hair one evening. when she walked into the club, her mama-san promptly pulled her aside and told her that her hair was "kimochi warui." at that time, i wasn't really familiar with the expression, so she explained it to me as meaning that it made other people feel bad to look at her. harsh? yes. but demonstrative of the japanese mentality? absolutely. looking good is not just a reflection of you, it's a reflection of your estimation of the people you're with. sure, when you're working as a hostess, looking well-kempt is part of your livelihood, but the sentiment is not just limited to those working in that profession.

observational abilities

this is closely linked with the point above, but japanese men tend to pay a lot more attention to you and your appearance than western guys. not only do they tend to relish helping you choose an appropriate outfit for a particular occasion, but they also notice even the tiniest changes in your physical appearance. at times, this can be unnerving, as every slight dip or increase in your weight is cause for no-holds-barred remarks, such as, "you've gained weight, haven't you?" blemishes, neglected eyebrows, and shabby clothing also receive the same attention. while western guys may notice such things (well, probably not the eyebrows), they have usually been trained not to let on that this is the case. while the ego-stroking that western guys are so adept at ("no honey, i don't think you've put on weight. you're perfect as ever.") can save your feelings from time to time, the flipside is that you always know that your japanese partner will notice if you've had your hair cut or colored and will always compliment you on new additions to your wardrobe. it's a hard call to make, but i'd say it makes up for the less-than-tactful observations.

social groupings

now this is something that is not necessarily true for everyone, since i've seen many cases that are different, but in my personal experience, japanese men like to keep their social groups separate. it's fairly common, in japan, as anywhere else, to develop different groups of friends based on your university, job, hobbies, etc.

while one of my favorite things is introducing friends from one sphere of my life to another, this seems to be a fairly uncommon practice in japan (with the possible exception of a gokon or group dating event, although i'm no expert in these). with regards to western boyfriends, i think it's a fairly common litmus test for a woman to introduce her boyfriend to her friends to see if they think he's good enough for her, and vice versa. the first meeting may have ulterior motives, but later it's fairly common for the boyfriend to spend time with her friends as well as for the girlfriend to spend time with her boyfriend's friends. however, this doesn't seem to happen as easily in japan.

part of this problem, at least in my current situation, is purely linguistic. my partner-in-crime doesn't feel too confident speaking english, so he's uncomfortable hanging out with my foreign friends, and while i usually speak japanese with him, i don't feel completely at ease in japanese social situations, especially if i'm the only non-native japanese speaker.

however, the barrier is more complex than just language. it almost feels as though there's a resistance, as though he doesn't really want or expect me to become friends with his friends, almost as though he'd like to keep that part of his life separate. i encountered a similar situation with a previous boyfriend, who never once introduced me to any of his friends. this was ultimately one of the factors that drove us apart, since i couldn't help feeling that he was embarrassed by me. this may not have been the case at all, but this is certainly one of those cultural differences that at times can feel insurmountable.

dating timeline

this is something that continues to befuddle me. it seems that in the west, there are a few relatively straightforward trajectories a relationship can take. you meet someone you potentially like, and you go on a few dates to figure out whether or not you see the relationship progressing. you might be seeing a couple of different people until one of the relationships starts to feel more meaningful than the others, and then you decide to make things exclusive. this is usually something that happens after a few weeks or months, but can be shorter or longer, depending on how often you see the person and how strong your feelings are. of course everyone is different and things don't always follow a set pattern, but i think it's fairly common to start out by going on dates or hanging out with someone and take it from there.

in japan, it doesn't quite seem to work this way. casual dating doesn't seem nearly as prevalent as it does in the west. guys somehow meet girls, decide they like them, and ask them to become their girlfriend, without ever having spent much time alone with the girl in question. the one thing that has consistently surprised me is the timing of this "would you be my girlfriend?" question. in several instances it's been way earlier than i'd anticipated (i.e. the second time i'd met the person in question). however, on the opposite side of the spectrum, a friend was hanging out with a guy for several months, even going away on mini-breaks with him, yet she still wouldn't refer to him as her boyfriend or say they were dating. in the us, i would have thought, "of course they're dating," but the japanese timeline follows a logic that is all its own.

so that's the first installment of my take on dating japanese guys. as always, i'd love to hear anyone else's thoughts or feelings about this! let me know if you've had similar experiences... or totally different ones!!

crossroads

2009-07-09T07:15:00.000-07:00

i've been thinking lately about those turning points you come to at certain stages in your life, those times when you have a clear decision to be made (most often between two options), and how you always end up having to make one.

every once in a while, i get a little lost thinking about how things would be for me now if i'd chosen the other option. it's not that i regret the choices i've made, more that i like to imagine how things might have turned out differently.

one of my biggest sources of frustration with myself is my indecisiveness. on the one hand, i think it's great to be able to see the advantages and disadvantages of every situation, but so many times i think i've driven everyone i know crazy with my deliberations. it's hard to say exactly how i come to the final decision, but i know it's never easy.

i can think of several of those crossroads off the top of my head.

end of high school/early college.

for some reason (oh, teenage angst, i suppose), when i was 16 i decided i was over high school, and chose to apply to college. there's a small college called simon's rock that takes 16 year-olds and offers to let them complete a two-year degree and then go on to do their BA if they so desire. i had applied and was accepted there when i found out that my family was moving to england. in the end, it seemed like england would be a better choice, if only so that i could travel around europe and take advantage of its history/location. oh, and cute guys with adorable accents (but that didn't come till later).

college.

ever since my sophomore year of high school, i was convinced that i would go to st. john's college to study their great books program. then, somehow, when it came time to apply to schools, i took an interest in reed. i think i liked the way they made me feel when i went to visit -- like it was a welcoming place and i would feel at home there. anyway, i spent the better part of my senior year trying to decide which school to attend, but in the end i chose reed.

self-organized semester abroad.

after a year of college in the us, i was stressed out and felt that i was missing out on all the fun. my friends in the uk were living it up, partying all the time (plus they were of the legal drinking age already), and i decided i needed to be a part of that, so i applied to uk universities, thinking i might start afresh there. i was accepted at a few of them, but was really drawn to two -- durham and goldsmiths college. at durham i had applied for spanish and italian, at goldsmiths spanish and french. durham was in chilly northern england while goldsmiths was in london.

people always say you shouldn't live your life with regret, so i won't say that i regret my decision to go to goldsmiths, but it was not all fun and games like i expected it to be. the time i spent in london was probably the longest stretch of my adult life where i have been consistently unhappy. i struggled to make friends, i had to argue my case with the administration to be placed in the correct classes, and i just felt like london was the most unwelcoming city in the world.

i ended up breaking up with my french boyfriend (correction, he ended up breaking up with me on christmas when i was staying with his family), and decided in that moment that no matter what, i had to leave and go back to portland. this was one of the few times in my life when i made a snap decision with no indecisiveness whatsoever. at the time, i knew it was right for me, but i always wonder what would have happened if i'd stayed in london. surely things would have gotten better? i'm glad i returned to the us, though, because i had gained a newfound appreciation for my college, my friends, and my life there.

post-college adventure in asia.

i'd always wanted to come to japan, but my first attempt to come through jet didn't work out (i got wait-listed and never called back). i had been counting on being accepted (life lesson number 5 bajillion -- don't ever count on any job to work out before you've signed the contract!!) so i didn't have a clear "plan b." in the end, i applied for a bunch of things, including a job teaching in korea, and one teaching in japan. i deliberated about this one for a long time --korea would allow me to save more money, and i'd be teaching only kids (at the time this seemed like a plus!). at the end of the day, though, i realized that it had always been my dream to come to japan and not korea. i still haven't been to korea yet -- even for a short visit -- so i can't say with absolute certainty that living in japan is better, but i feel pretty good about that decision.

besides the time i spent in london, pretty much every other decision worked out how you might expect -- a little bit of good, a little bit of bad. which, i suppose, is pretty much what life is, right? i guess in the end a lot of your experience anywhere is based on you and your perceptions, so if you think of it that way, you'll basically have similar experiences no matter where you go. i don't know -- do you think there's such a thing as a "wrong" decision, or do you always find a way to equalize things and make your experiences livable? i would love to know what other people think about this!

lunch corner

2009-07-07T17:15:00.000-07:00

since we got all the ingredients for grilled tofu steak sandwiches the other night, it only made sense for us to make them for lunch yesterday. oh, and when i say "us," i actually mean my resident chef/partner-in-crime. sometimes he just can't help it and he takes over in the kitchen. in my defense, the cookbook is all written in japanese and i did get things started by pressing the tofu. anyway, at least now i know how to do it for next time.

here you see a beautiful selection of sliced vegetables (red pepper, avocado, and cucumber) and the tofu marinating with soy sauce, olive oil, garlic, and dried herbs.

after letting the tofu marinate for a while, you can grill it in the oven or sauté it in a frying pan. a few slices of ubiquitous summer eggplant should also be sautéed for a few minutes until soft.

we altered the recipe a little because we had used all our tomatoes in the previous night's pasta, so we thought red pepper would be a good substitute. the avocado was also our addition. here's the finished product.

normally at café eight, this sandwich is served cold, which leads me to believe that they let both the eggplant and tofu cool before assembling the masterpiece. next time we/i make it, i think i'll try that technique. while our sandwich was not quite the same as the ones they serve at café eight, it was a pretty solid attempt, and a hearty and satisfying meal.

dinner time!!

2009-07-06T19:09:00.000-07:00

one of the things i love so much about summer evenings in japan is that you can walk around at night and discover all sorts of things. it's like the world opens up in ways it never can during the winter, or even during the daytime. it might be too hot and sticky during the day to walk around for no good reason, but at night it cools down a little, and sometimes you even get a pleasant breeze. i'm pretty sure i have a postcard somewhere that says something like "a pleasant breeze makes me feel comfortable." that pretty much explains the feeling of a tokyo night. as a side note, i often think about making little cards that have unintentionally amusing japanese sayings on them. i wonder if my childlike japanese would have the same effect on japanese people that the decorative english has on me (i.e. laughter and bemusement). i'll keep you posted!

***

last night we decided to go for a little pre-dinner stroll. on our way home, we were deliberating what to make for dinner, and we decided on the grilled tofu steak sandwiches from the café eight cook book. however, a few minutes before we got home we realized that we weren't quite hungry enough for the tofu steak, so we decided to do a quick chilled pasta instead. here's what i did:

1. boil up some salted water.

2. chop up some tomatoes and basil and marinate them in olive oil with salt, pepper, thyme, and oregano.

3. cook up some angel hair pasta. the resident chef explained to me that if you're going to be chilling your pasta (whether it's soba, somen, or italian-style), you don't want to cook it al dente. you want it to be nice and soft so it doesn't get rubbery once it's chilled.

4. rinse the cooked pasta in cold water until cool.

5. mix up everything and serve.

on the left, you will also notice some sautéed eggplant. eggplant is a very typical summer food in japan, as it is said to cool your body down. i can't say that i've ever noticed eggplant's cooling effects, but it is pretty tasty. i would have to say that one of my favorite preparations of eggplant ever, though, is the gooey grilled eggplant served along with your falafel at l'as du fallafel in paris. yum, yum.

lunch corner

2009-07-05T02:46:00.000-07:00

d was asking what's in your fridge, and while i don't quite feel comfortable to bare that much, i'm happy to share what i had for lunch today, especially since it was so tasty and fresh.

last night i had been planning to make some vegan okonomiyaki, but the heat and the late hour at which we arrived home had us change our minds and go for a super-easy salad instead. we chopped up lettuce, celery, daikon, and corn, and topped the whole deal off with some avocado and walnuts. there was plenty left over, so today's lunch featured the aforementioned salad, accompanied by a chilled pumpkin soup that happened to be hanging out in the fridge. the chef of the house whipped up a delightful potage of kabocha, soy milk, and a couple of herbs and spices we had on hand. it had thickened after being in the fridge for a day or two, so i whipped in a bit more soy milk and had a refreshing and satisfying bowlful.

the heat of the summer hasn't totally arrived yet, but it is considerably warmer than the city by the bay, and i'm really getting into summertime eating (can't wait to whip up a smoothie later on). anyone else have a noteworthy meal they'd like to share?

magical afternoon in yoyogi park

2009-07-05T02:29:00.000-07:00

it's hard not to feel a sense of déja-vu being back in tokyo, since, well, i have already seen and done most of the things that i find myself doing here. however, i've been pleasantly surprised by the fact that there is an element of mystery and the unexpected to almost everything. japan, a country obsessed with novelty, is constantly reinventing itself and this is nowhere more evident than in tokyo. when going to meet a friend for lunch in the neighborhood of my old office, i expected everything to be exactly as i had it mapped out in my memory, so it was surprising to find several new stores and restaurants along the way.

the best kind of surprise, though, came later on in the day when we were hanging out in yoyogi park. not only did we discover a beautiful patch of ajisai (hydrangeas), but we also watched on with child-like rapture as a few people worked their magic with giant pans of soap and ropes and created enormous bubbles that reflected and refracted in the setting sun.

we also goofed around with a hoop and it was great to see makichan try it for the first time since her childhood.

isn't she adorable? i just love the lighting in this picture. it's that beautiful late afternoon summer sun.

back home

2009-07-04T16:08:00.000-07:00

well, events conspired in such a way that i find myself back in tokyo again. the first few days were very strange and i felt a bit overwhelmed and wondering what i had gotten myself into. but spending some time talking with friends and loved ones always helps to put things into perspective, and now i'm feeling not quite footloose and fancy-free, but much better about where things are headed.

of course i already miss san francisco and the friends and life i had there. i should have learned this by now, but any move you make is always going to be a trade-off. if you are lucky enough to have the experience of making your home in multiple places, the price you have to pay is that you will always be missing somewhere or someone. you can't have your cake in san francisco and eat it in tokyo.

i don't regret my venture to san francisco. for me it was an amazing learning experience. i proved to myself that i can do it -- i can live in my home country and not constantly feel like i don't belong. i can even carry over some of the self-confidence that i've gained abroad into my daily life there. so when the time comes for me to return, i know that i will be able to take on the challenge. until then, though, i'll enjoy being back in my adopted hometown, where the weather is hot and sticky, the trains run on time, and the karaoke runs freely.

insomnia...

2009-05-05T08:07:00.000-07:00

recently i've found myself waking up at night at inexplicable hours. my thoughts are racing and i can't calm myself back down again. i feel like it's the end of the school year and the final days before summer vacation.

of course my thoughts tend to be focused on the same issue -- here or japan? do i want to take the next steps of my life here or there? i think when i first moved here i couldn't actually visualize what my life here would look like beyond june, and that made it much more compelling to return. i also felt lonely and missed my wonderful friends in tokyo, so that made my longing even more acute.

but recently, something has been shifting, and i've actually begun to enjoy myself here. my life in san francisco is taking on more shape, and suddenly it's not so hard to see myself staying on after june.

so suddenly i see two paths before me, two equally possible and enjoyable and upsetting and frustrating and wonderful directions my life might take.

because there are some extraneous circumstances at play here, i'm just going to let them unfurl and then my decision will be made for me. but i know that either way i will be giving up on something amazing, and perhaps that's why i find myself unable to sleep...

play don't play

2009-04-18T15:18:00.000-07:00

this is a little photo essay from japan, inspired by a sign that we found across the street from m café de chaya.

part 1: the sign is spotted.

part 2: the impact of the sign is felt.

part 3: a closer look at the emotional impact and ennui instigated by said sign.

but then, reflecting upon it further...

part 4: deciding not to heed the sign. dammit, we're gonna play!

the end.

decisions, decisions

2009-04-18T00:23:00.000-07:00

how do you know what is the right move to make? right now my life is like one big question mark, and i seriously feel split 50/50 down the middle.

do i head back to tokyo to the life that, strangely, feels more familiar and certain, or do i stay here in san francisco and let the laws of fate run their course? in some ways, i feel like my destiny is here in the us, although i can't quite imagine what that life will look like (it's all very vague and cloudy at the moment). returning to tokyo, on the other hand, feels a bit more like the "safe" option, since i know what my life like there looks like.

one of my friends once told me that i have the power to create my own reality, and basically as soon as i say something about the future, that's pretty much the way that it transpires. so if that's really the case, here goes: i have a fulfilling job that is inspirational, creative and well-paid, a fantastic group of friends, and a partner who satisfies my quirky sense of humor and makes me feel adored and appreciated at every moment. i just don't know my street address, but i should figure it out sooner rather than later, i suppose.

brides of march

2009-04-01T21:09:00.000-07:00

in one of my first initiations into the crazy world of san francisco life, my friend invited me to attend brides of march, a pub crawl/parade in which people dress up in wedding gowns and traipse around the union square area. apparently the inspiration for this wacky festival was someone who was shopping in a thrift store and found a fantastic wedding gown but didn't know what to do with it and needed an excuse to wear it. here are a few of my photos from the day.

this was my first time participating in brides of march, but this year seemed especially poignant now that gay marriage has been banned from the state of california.

i loved this guy's headdress. so elaborate!!

the woman in the leopard-print coat was the "wedding planner" and spent a lot of time yelling into her earpiece. very amusing.

a brief interlude

2009-03-15T20:56:00.000-07:00

i do intend to write about the rest of raw week, but before i do that, i thought i'd add a brief interlude. both of these things bring so much joy to my heart i can't help but share them. enjoy!

which one do you like better? i personally am partial to the pie chart, because it makes it seem all scientific and stuff, but i do also appreciate the visual element in the first image.

as a side note, we once had a house mix that had a song that sounded just like rick astley's voice, but i've never been able to locate the original version of the song, and sadly that mix was lost when my first ipod died. the lyrics went "i will never never never let you go away. stay with me, so i can stay with you..." man, i wish i could find that song (both the original and remixed version) again.

the raw challenge

2009-03-11T21:03:00.000-07:00

my new job is at a veg*n magazine. i have to admit that i don't really know exactly what veg*n means, but here's my interpretation of it. vegetarian is too broad of a term, and used to define anything from someone who eats fish to someone who abstains from red meat to someone who eats only animal by-products like cheese and eggs. so as you can see, the term is nebulous, to say the least. the problem with the term vegan, though, is that it tends to scare people. it sounds extreme (which it is), and that makes people (myself included) nervous. so that's where the asterisk comes in. it's a nice sort of fill-in-the-blanks exercise, so it encompasses both but includes neither. well, that's how i see it.

so anywho, at work, each day we have lunch together, and one person cooks for everyone else. it's actually a lot of fun since you never know exactly what lunch is going to be, but you can rest assured knowing that it will be tasty and vegan (no asterisk here – all my coworkers are vegan and proud – i'm the only one with an identity conflict). last week and weekend, we all packed up and headed south to the natural products expo west, where we sampled more food in three days than is usual for a year. non-dairy cheese, hemp-based ice cream, vegan marshmallows, and all sorts of other junkety junk (albeit vegan junk).

since we had such a junk-filled week last week, we collectively decided that this week should be "raw week," at least at work. i decided that it would be a worthwhile endeavor to extend the raw-ness into my own time as well, so i've been trying to eat raw all week. i thought it might be interesting to document how it's gone so far and what i've made each night, at least for posterity's sake. sadly, i haven't been taking photos, but i figured something is better than nothing, so here we go.

day 1: no breakfast since i was too tired and not hungry. lunch: a big spinach and avocado salad. how i felt after lunch: dissatisfied. my coworkers and i were breaking into all the raw snacks we could find, including dried fruit and organic nectars chocagave syrup (this stuff is amazing!! if you can find it i cannot recommend it enough!!) within 2 minutes after finishing. dinner: a salad consisting of chard, avocado, orange bell pepper, daikon, and tomato, with a home-made pesto-inspired sauce (i blended fresh basil, pine-nuts, and olive oil with a little salt and pepper. you could add garlic if you care for it, but i don't really like the taste raw garlic leaves in my mouth). how i felt after dinner: pretty satisfied and healthy. after about an hour or two i was craving something sweet so i ate a raw revolution mini-bar consisting of cacao and cashews.

day 2: apple for breakfast. lunch: zucchini "pasta" topped with pesto, romaine leaf salad with red peppers, and a cinnamon-apple-zucchini "soup." how i felt after lunch: pretty good. what we had on tuesday was much more substantial than on monday, so i felt much more satisfied. afterwards, we dipped into our raw cashew-nut-based ice cream with more of the fantastic chocagave sauce. this is pretty much what heaven on earth tastes like. dinner: inspired by the day's lunch, i made carrot and daikon "pasta" over some chard with a tomato-basil-cashew sauce. how i felt after dinner: good. it was tasty and filling, though once again my sweet tooth came to haunt me a few hours later. since i felt like i'd been overdoing the nuts, i resisted the temptation to break into my stash of larabars, and instead went for some dates. they were sweet and satisfying, though i couldn't help thinking they'd be much better with some almond butter...

day 3: now we're getting into it. breakfast: an apple, followed about an hour later by a pear. lunch: raw tacos using lettuce as the wrap, cashew red pepper pâté, and kale salad topped with some salad filler (i can't remember the brand name, but it included pumpkin seeds, chia seeds, kelp, and spirulina). how i felt after lunch: i wished i'd gotten a few more scoops of the pâté, since that was the most filling part of the meal. i'm finding that while i enjoy salads, i need something with a bit more substance in order to get full. it's also an interesting experience to finish eating and not feel sluggish and lethargic. that would be the positive side to not being completely satiated. dinner: i was feeling really inspired, so i made a trio of sauces. 1. guacamole (super-simple style: i just mashed up avocado with fresh cilantro and avocado and a bit of salt and pepper). 2. cashew nut bell pepper (inspired by the pâté at lunch today, i mixed a handful of cashews with half an orange bell pepper, some pine-nuts, olive oil, and salt and pepper). the end result looked like egg salad, which was kinda freaky, but it tasted fantastic, if i do say so myself. 3. pumpkin-seed dip (this was inspired by something i had at the sf farmers' market a few weeks ago. i mixed a handful of pumpkin seeds with a lot of cilantro, half a chopped tomato, some olive oil, and salt and pepper and blended it into a pesto-like dip. i thought it was really good – it was like a salsa with more substance). i made chard "tacos" and dipped some carrot sticks and chard stalks in the sauce. i was really pleased with how everything turned out. how i felt after dinner: good! it's been about an hour and i'm still pretty full, though i may decide i need something sweet in an hour or so.

overall, raw week has been an interesting experiment so far. it's a little hard since the only tool i really have at my disposal is a small hand blender. if i had a food processor i feel like i could try out some different stuff, but nonetheless i've had fun trying different combinations of ingredients, i've adored the raw ice cream and sauces, and i think it's amazing to avoid the post-lunch food coma. on the flipside, i do find it annoying that i tend to get hungry so quickly after eating and wish that the satiety would last just a bit longer.

i'll try to post again sometime soon to let you know how the rest of the week went! let me know if you have any simple (no special tools required) raw recipes you'd like to share!

famous

2009-03-01T08:42:00.000-08:00

on a rare clear day earlier this week, i headed out to ocean beach to do some hooping. i was approached by the talented mr. mike ricca who asked if he could take some photos since the silhouette of me hooping looked kinda pretty against the backdrop of the sunset and the pacific ocean.

this photo somehow made it onto hooping.org as the photo of the day for march 1, 2009 yay!! my first solo photo to appear in this who's who of hooping!

the rest of the photos can be viewed here.

check them out and let me know what you think!

hooping alongside kamogawa (without the hooping pics)

2009-02-24T20:21:00.000-08:00

okay, so when i went to kyoto last time, i took my hoop with me and had some great fun hooping along kamogawa, the main river that runs through the heart of the city. i didn't actually get any pictures of myself (one of the downsides of solo travel -- photo ops become somewhat awkward), but i did happen to see some other interesting sights, which i thought i'd post for your enjoyment here.

early morning sun along the river -- i can just feel it again when i look at this photo!

there's my hoop! looking cute!

this cat popped out of one of the houses, came and had a drink from the river, and then disappeared. so adorable!

i love these white birds. they're just so graceful and serene. they often hang out along kamogawa.